The Harsh Inner Critic

Lately, I have found myself comparing myself to others (particularly men in my space) that I perceive to hold the attributes I don’t yet have within myself. This has placed me in a little bit of a tailspin. There are times where I will be empowered and inspired and do more and concentrate on the authenticity of my expression and…

There are times where I revert and get stuck, feel the victim that I put so much effort in and “where am I still, what does he have that I don’t?” I criticize, become frustrated, agitated, short with others, despondent and not motivated to create. I feel jealousy and unworthy in this comparison mode.

In the past, I would lose myself in this state a lot more. It would stunt my growth because all I would focus on is the “negative” within every situation.

These days I may still arrive at this place but my layover is shorter. I ask questions like: “What are these feelings teaching me? What place within me are they coming from? What is unresolved within me? How can this fuel me, as opposed to constricting me? What is it in others I am not owning within myself? Am I distracting myself to self-sabotage my growth because my ego is scared?” Asking these kinds of questions helps me shift out of a negative state faster (and they’ll help you too). Doing some breathwork (which is now something I teach) also supports my state shift.

Our experiences teach us things about who we are and how we are living our lives. I lived my life living with these feelings but never processing them. I allowed them to control me and I chose to never learn from them. It’s difficult now as a man owning this, but I am realising that if I don’t own them, they will own me.

By owning these feelings, I get a very real opportunity to move them on… What are you choosing to feel, own and release in your life? 

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

[fbcomments]

KEEP READING

The Slow Burn Of Resentment & Anger

Can we not love the fullness of who we are? The fullness of others and embrace their humanness, our humanness? This does not mean not creating reverent boundaries, but it does mean surrendering to our authentic nature…

Exploring Male Consciousness

Something I have discovered in my own journey is that conscious masculine and male presence is predicated on the posture of non-judgement.

Most recently I have personally entered a vortex of releasing gross volumes of judgement from my being, from my expression and character. Traits adopted through my conditioning (societal, generational and familial) are leaving my being.

Rejection – A Different Perspective

Rejection is painful, it stops us in our tracks, paralyses us and pulls us into a vortex of lower self-worth. Rejection keeps us playing small in life, forgetting who we truly are, what we are capable of and what matters.

The Inner Wounded Child

See that little child in your lover. There is a little one inside each of us.
We become confused because when we are hurt by the actions of adults. We see adults who “should know better”. We witness mature, developed adults taking actions that are hurtful, malicious & laden with intent.

The Privilege Of ‘Taking’

How can we take? What does it mean to ‘take’? Why does it matter? True and authentic taking is trust in motion. Taking from a place of connection, transparency, empowerment and surrender can only occur when there are equitable power balances in play.

Share This