The Harsh Inner Critic

Lately, I have found myself comparing myself to others (particularly men in my space) that I perceive to hold the attributes I don’t yet have within myself. This has placed me in a little bit of a tailspin. There are times where I will be empowered and inspired and do more and concentrate on the authenticity of my expression and…

There are times where I revert and get stuck, feel the victim that I put so much effort in and “where am I still, what does he have that I don’t?” I criticize, become frustrated, agitated, short with others, despondent and not motivated to create. I feel jealousy and unworthy in this comparison mode.

In the past, I would lose myself in this state a lot more. It would stunt my growth because all I would focus on is the “negative” within every situation.

These days I may still arrive at this place but my layover is shorter. I ask questions like: “What are these feelings teaching me? What place within me are they coming from? What is unresolved within me? How can this fuel me, as opposed to constricting me? What is it in others I am not owning within myself? Am I distracting myself to self-sabotage my growth because my ego is scared?” Asking these kinds of questions helps me shift out of a negative state faster (and they’ll help you too). Doing some breathwork (which is now something I teach) also supports my state shift.

Our experiences teach us things about who we are and how we are living our lives. I lived my life living with these feelings but never processing them. I allowed them to control me and I chose to never learn from them. It’s difficult now as a man owning this, but I am realising that if I don’t own them, they will own me.

By owning these feelings, I get a very real opportunity to move them on… What are you choosing to feel, own and release in your life? 

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

[fbcomments]

KEEP READING

Bullies Are Tortured Souls

Fractured and fragmented by their own sense of not belonging, feeling rejected, and being isolated themselves. They turn to outward blame and assault to feel better and feel relief from their powerlessness. It doesn’t justify it, nor make it right… We heal through resilience and compassion. Lets’ delve in deeper…

Are You Struggling?

Are you living a double life? Are you committed to owning your truth? We learn from both struggles/challenge/“failure” and success/wins and the positive.
We hold in what is painful or appears to be weak. I share as much of my life as I can to inspire others to share more of themselves to and for themselves so that we cease to polarize and pretend we are not struggling.
To normalize challenge and pain and not put a facade on of “all is perfect in my world”.

The Art Of Dying

I watched at extremely close proximity my grandparents suffer with physical and psychological ailments during their twilight years. It was hard to watch them deteriorate and be immobile in everyday simple life. Whilst they handled this like bosses, it was interesting to witness highly independent beings become highly reliant on others for basic functioning

10 Ways Spirituality Will Save Your Relationship – Part II

In part I we delved deep in to the 10 ways having a spiritual practice and being ‘spiritual’ could serve, save and harmonise your relationships in such a way that you would grow, feel connected and effectively completely overhaul and dramatically improve the quality of…

Feeling “Safe Enough”

We live in a world where intimacy is almost exclusively associated with sex and sexual expression. We define intimacy by how open, novel, and “risky” we can be sexually. Sexual exploration is super important and we must understand where our yearning to explore is coming from?

START WITH YOUR LOVE BLOCKS

Complete this assessment to uncover the exact blocks preventing you from attracting and experiencing the love and intimacy you truly desire

Share This