Healing Your Inner Child

  • Speak to him/her daily in kindness 
  • Write a letter to them telling them they are seen and loved 
  • Ask them what they need on the regular 
  • Be playful in life 
  • Acknowledge the feelings that weren’t felt 
  • Express these feelings in a primal way – screaming, crying, hitting pillows 
  • Surround yourself by people that appreciate and see you 
  • Feel supported in your dreams and dream BIG 
  • See the little boy or girl in others when they are feeling the intensity 
  • Make peace with and forgive your past 
  • Don’t wrong the uncomfortable parts of yourself 
  • If you have children, love them the way you were not 

Each of us carries that inner child. The inner child within is that unconscious part of us that carries unmet needs, fear of being seen, suppressed pain and worry unexpressed emotions and words, whilst also holding a playful zest for life and love, intimacy and connection.

It is the aspect of self that actually still runs the show in our adult lives. The coping strategies we developed to figure out life as lost, confused, or hurt children during certain times still play out and inform our adult mind, relationships, and choices. We see the world through the lens of that hurt little boy or girl.

Our basic needs are to be seen, heard, appreciated, healthily validated, acknowledged, and loved. If we do not receive this healthy reinforcement as children we create ideas about our self-worth, who we are and we often feel judged, not enough, unworthy, and of little value.

As children, we are not able to process BIG emotions and we need the guidance of healthy caretakers to help us navigate these often complex feelings. To help us course correct when we feel lost. If we don’t have this, we often make ourselves wrong for our feelings or circumstances and this creates a negative sense of self and disillusion with the world.

This impacts our relationships. As adults we may act out, be hyper-selfish, not take responsibility, be a people-pleaser, play the victim, be in uncontrollable anger, self-loathe, betray self and others, be highly comparative and so much more.

We are trying to protect ourselves from hurt in the only way we learned how when we were younger. In this survival state, consumed with fear we never got a chance to just be kids. We were robbed of something so necessary from a developmental perspective. We are constantly searching for someone to save us.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

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