What Is Masculinity?

Masculinity is not a fad, it’s not “bad”, toxic or wrong. Masculinity as an expressive construct is natural to us as men. As men, in our core essence of masculinity, we have lost touch with what it means to be “masculine”.

I am not here to tell you how to “be a man”. That’s your role, you know how. However, most men have lost deep contact with their healthy masculine presence. How to assume that power once more.

Let’s start with the basics. There are three things you can do, & as I mastered these acts in synchronicity & consistency I grew in profound measures.

1…Get physical. Train, move your body, connect to your physical strength. Physical strength lends itself to self-respect, discipline, mastery & confidence.

These traits make you appealing & trustworthy to yourself and to others. We live in a sedentary world. We have not evolved this way. It’s time to get into our bodies.

2…Get into nature. Be in the wilderness. Be alone, be with loved ones in the wild, be in solitude, silence & stillness, challenge your abilities & learn new physical & mental skills in the wild. Just be in nature.

We grew in the wild. We developed capacity, resilience & strength in the wild. The wild has shaped us. Convenience & comfort has fucking weakened us. We have lost faith in our abilities to be true to our nature.

3…Get in touch with other healthy men. This empowers us to be authentic, real & true. We project less on our lovers & families & take our pain, challenges & queries to our brethren. Rely on trusted, respected & revered sources of brothers many that call you forward & challenge you healthily.

Our ancestors intrinsically knew the value of all of this. The common thread is coming back to our biological & sociological evolutionary roots, as a starting point! From here we can grow into deeper & newer aspects of self. Our biology plays a role in who we are, but it’s not the entire picture.

The truth is though if we cannot honour the tangible (our physical bodies) we will not get to the more complex & abstract. Start here & observe the changes in you & how others perceive & treat you.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

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Men, Just LISTEN, Don’t Fix

As men, we yearn to fix, it feels like an accomplishment, like we have conquered the challenge. There is more to this though. There are times when the situation, perceived problem or pain does not require anything else but our presence.

We want to fix in order to feel useful, worthy or of value. I know I have in the past. We don’t realise that our own insecurities prevent us from going deeper with our loved ones. Our beloved at times simply wants to be seen and heard.

What Is Sexual Polarity?

If we are experiencing a lack of sexual charge in our relationships it could be for many reasons, and we need to get real with what they may be – stress, disinterest, health issues, distractions, priority shifts, distance (emotional and/or physical) and more.
The deeper the difference, the more pronounced the sexual attraction. Sexual attraction occurs in the differences between people. Emotional attraction is developed through “sameness”, connection and rapport. We require both to thrive.

Judgment

Judgment. I’ve been doing this more than I care to admit. I feel I’ve lost myself in it. Not seeing beyond the veil. Only the surface. Having been blinded by my own preconceptions & ideas. Thinking fast (or minimally) & feeling slower.

Universal Sexual Forces

Masculinity and femininity are not reserved solely for gender. They refer to universal sexual forces. Polarity within that either attracts or repels… And just because wild magnetic attraction exists doesn’t mean you should be romantically and deeply involved…

The Real You

We want others to believe in us. We want to feel needed and be seen. We want others to understand us and love us for who we are, yet we seldom show our ‘true colours’.

We want the world and are often simply delivered an atlas. We do a great job of blaming and shaming the world around us for this and not getting out way.