Depth Of Honouring

Generally, men are seen or considered stable, vertical and never-changing (reliable and strong). The masculine, consciousness or conscious energy is this – but it also transitions through life as it (that expressive aspect of self becomes self-realised).

As healthy masculine men we are ever-changing in the sense not that we are not stable nor that we are fluid, but as we become conscious we evolve and we evolve in to new ways of expression, being and viewing reality.

Our consciousness expands and new realities are forged in life. We are essentially growing in to new more profound and aware versions of ourselves – this is what it is meant by ever changing in reference to a man. To honour this process is to honour the power and truth of our path.

To be open to this may feel awkward, different, disconnected and out of touch but if we can honour this aspect of our journey we begin to revere and honour deeper our relationships.

Why? Because we are connecting more to the fullness of ourselves, understanding ourselves, knowing ourselves and seeing ourselves for who we are and therefore can be more present in our relationships.

Honouring our beloved is seeing them for the wholeness and fullness of who they are – this is inclusive of seeing ourselves in them and the ever-changing nature of reality.

Honouring our beloved is ‘showing up’ to the relationship present, centred, aware of our own triggers and pain points and allowing our beloved to be expressive as they need to in times of sincere communication and openness.

Honouring our beloved means ‘holding space’. Holding space means having honoured ourselves enough to have done ‘the work’. The work represents the exploration of self, of our ‘stuff’. Our shadow self, our pains, potential and actual traumas and fears – the unknown shadow that resides within.

To hold space for another means to be stable, connected and vertical. In order to be this person for another we cannot be triggered massively or intensely when they are purging, communicating their pains or fears, discomforts, concerns or difficulties or expressing from an open heart.

Holding space means having honoured yourself to go deep, equilibrate and understand you can now honour your beloved by being present to their needs without personalising their pain or fears. This holding equates to safety.

This honouring equates to closeness. It can only be achieved when each individual respects the space of the other by honouring one’s own journey enough in order to honour and admire enough the journey of their beloved so that they can choose to want to be present.

The healthy conscious masculine wishes to not change the flowing feminine. There is no separation and the conscious man realises this completely – all distractions, contractions and obsessions dissolve openly when we are of honouring service to those we care about.

When we embrace this truth, we are able to receive the flowing essence of the feminine and this is one of the greatest gifts we can receive through honouring. Remember, we bring this in to ourselves first.

Now, we may feel like we are reducing our freedom allowing the flow of the beloved to express through vulnerable honouring and we may be resistant to this as the masculine wishes to feel freedom openly.

The unhealthy masculine wishes to control. The feminine energy does not seek, embody, nor yearn for this – yes the feminine requires to be held, but to not be constricted with unconscious and unhealthy pressure.

We must choose to ‘involve’, evolve and stand strong in our posturing, whilst allowing the contrasted self to naturally express itself.

It takes us to a new level of creativity, giving, service and connection to ourselves and to others. With this attitude and approach to life and relationships we ignite our ability to evolve in relationship instead of out of relationship.

Too often, we observe life from a vantage point of haste and suffering. We do not value the present moment for what it is and we pursue what we think we want instead of honouring the space we are occupying; instead of occupying the present moment with the fullness of our attention, we drift in to the future or the past far more than we could.

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author