The Divide Between True Intimacy

“Proximity draws us close, near and bonds us. To be proximate to each other, we must remove the unconscious blockages that Dyer is from stepping in to connected and expansive presence”.

We often hide behind facades of ignorance. Ignorant to our own pain. Ignorant to our fears, not willing to traverse the depths of self, not willing to traverse the chasms of our pain bodies… And why should we, right? Too painful, too exposing, too intense, too confronting and too disruptive.

Disruptive to our way of life, to our current paradigm of relationships and to our ‘internalised safe zones’. When we ignore the wholeness of who we are, we bring that fracture directly in to our intimate relationships. Our romantic relationships suffer immensely at the hand of elusive ignorance and the unknown.

The shadow if unaddressed reaps havoc with our lives. Agape, one of the highest expression of ‘love’ is stunted, hindered and collapses in and of itself when we choose to ignore our hidden and impulsive pain points. When we avoid our fears, they persist – what we directly resist, persists and permeates every fragment of our consciousness.

This divide caused between the potential of intimate connection, agapistic merging and genuine, open bonding decelerates our growth and ascension in to an evolved state of being. We remain ‘stuck’ in pain, in the mundane, in the superficial and in the safe. No one, thing or experience ever flourished and thrived in the safe zone. We grow through challenge.

And when we challenge the wholeness of who we are, we expand profoundly. We are able to be honest, open and truthful about the role we play in life and who we wish to be and express in the fullness of intimacy. Intimacy and the highest expressions of authentic love require attention, clarity, clearing and a more whole understanding of self.

How can we have patience, compassion, empathy, respect and reverence for others when we do not know the inner workings of our own heart, mind and essence of being. How can we serve selflessly in love – in the highest expression of agape when we do not know or cannot connect to what we truly value within ourselves.

And to know what we value, what is important and how we can grow we must clear space, stagnant space that no longer serves us so that we may feel fully life, our inner state and the pulsating beat of our authentic hearts.

Agape is predicated upon inclusivity, selflessness, giving with no expectation, being present to life and the thriving and flourishing of another sentient being’s potential. Agape resides within the organism to feel through being, giving and serving.

In this service, we ourselves naturally and organically expand. To expand congruently is to live openly, without restriction and stigma – rigidity and chronic, perpetual, repetitive pain.

We must give up what we know, what is familiar and yet, what stunts our growth. We must relinquish the fear that drives our protective and defensive behaviours and attitudes. What separates and distances us from what we truly love.

To address our fears and pains is to address our growth and evolution. From here we can be vulnerable, share and connect with those we love and those who respect us.

When we clear our dominant fears, we are creating space for people entering our lives that can serve instead of feed the fear or the beast that keeps our potential at bay.

We know begin to play a different game – one that is uplifting, connecting and all-encompassing of our truth. We are never discarding our fear and pain, we are owning it by moving through it and allowing it to be an integral part of who we are, who we have been and who will be…

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

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Ever since I was a child I could really FEEL the world, people and their pain. I would feel their pain in order to not feel alone in the world. I also experienced so much of it myself that I wanted to help others with their pain.

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What we often forget amongst rhetoric and discourse that is harmful towards the positive attributes of man is that we are in a time and space of immense transformation.

We have entered a period of relating where man and woman are uniting under the banner of sentience. Under the perspective of connectedness, wholeness and unification.

The Resplendent Queen

“A MASSIVE SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE QUEENS BREAKING THE NORM!”

For all of the women and the empowered, clear feminine within that have touched my life and impacted me… My queen, my muse – Christine, I love you and thank you for all that you are.

The vast women carrying so much depth, wisdom, reverence for men and clarified maturity who are entering my perception is humbling.

Intimacy – A Dance Between Lovers

“The intimate and blissful dance between taking & being taken allows us to know ourselves at such depth”. This is contrast dynamics/polarity dynamics & the song of the masculine & the feminine, which resides within all of us.

Expressive Connection

We yearn, we wish, we feel, we ‘know’, we dream, we envision, we care, we want, we desire, we need – yet we refrain. We hold back, we retract, we restrict, we constrict and we live in and from unconscious and patterned fears. Why?

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