WHO IS STEFANOS
I have been blessed to work with thousands of people from all over the world: Elite Special Forces soldiers, Olympic Gold Medalists, high-performing CEOs and entrepreneurs, world champion fighters, couples wanting to deepen and/or heal their relationship and individuals with substantial mental health issues. This broad spectrum and deep exposure has granted me profound access into the human condition. For this I am grateful, and from this place I serve my clients from a place of intuition and compassion.
My mission is to be a voice for the voiceless; to assist individuals in actualising the fullness of their potentiality; to relate consciously to each other with authentic love; be a conscious steward of Earth and continue to evolve and expand the entirety of my being – this is my humble gift to humanity and to my own self.
MY CHILDHOOD WAS PAINFUL, FULL OF
FEAR, VIOLENCE & ABUSE.
THE EARLY DAYS
There were times where I experienced love but it felt so distant that I couldn’t trust it. My father was absent and very physically abusive with my mother and with my younger brother and I, I remember so many times heavy hands on my body, he didn’t know better and that familiar feeling of bracing was intense. In addition, I was enmeshed with my mother. As my father was unavailable, and my mother projected her needs emotionally and unconsciously on me. I felt pressure and out of control. Not feeling heard, learning to make everyone happy and not myself, I often felt tense, bracing was the norm and hiding occurred on a daily basis.
I would run and hide underneath my bed as my parents would fight. I would be silent so as to avoid the wrath of my father’s harsh voice and hands when he was in rage. I would wet the bed with fear and tighten my body as sneezing or coughing too loud would provoke blame and intimidation.
I turned to food and TV for comfort and the food has been a lifelong battle in many ways. Food and TV eventually was traded in for extreme sex, porn and adrenaline (but the food still remains in times of stress and overwhlem). Childhood was confusing and it seemed to get more intense as I grew older, but in different ways… The interesting thing was I was highly sensitive and attuned to sounds and sights, something that would help me later in life but was very daunting as a child.
I was born in Australia and then moved to Greece to be with my father’s family. The transition was harsh. I felt I didn’t belong anywhere when I came back to Australia. I couldn’t speak english, I was teased, bullied and ignored. I felt displaced.
LIVING A MISALIGNED LIFE
I was bullied and picked on. I remember being in the playground, eating alone finding refuge in the sun, nature and the food my beautiful grandmother would make for me… I was growing and so was my own rage – the bullied became the bully. All the years of fear and suppressed anger was catching up but not before I was bullied, intimidated and mocked. As a teenager I was overweight and awkward. I tried but constantly felt shame and was self-conscious about my voice, my body and my presence (or lack thereof). As I became older, I began to release that anger and the bullied became the bully.
I carried such unprocessed anger and trauma from my childhood that I projected it onto others. As I started to find my voice in harsher ways I felt more power. But I also was still withdrawn. I was shy and sexually inexperienced. My first full sexual experience was with a prostitute just before I turned 18 (I hadn’t even masturbated by then – so much shame in so many ways). My friend took me. I was embarrassed. And there began deeper sexual exploration and my life began to change rapidly.
I started my sexual journey late, but made up for it. Debauchery, prostitution, infidelity, shadow sexual exploration, mixing with the ‘wrong’ groups, exploring underground behavior and more was taking me down a road I truly didn’t want to go down. Fighting, arguing, alcohol and all the things were pulling at me that were distracting me from dealing with my pain. Including mixing with the “wrong kind of people” trying to prove myself and mask my insecurities with controlling everything I could in my environment – gangs, drugs, more violence, crime and so much more… Relationship after broken relationship. Making the big claims of integrity and being a solid man, but inside and in the shadows I was crumbling, being the opposite of that integrity and then blaming everyone else for it. I wasn’t addressing my trauma and was avoiding it like the plague.
Then one day I was ‘caught’. I wanted to stop living that life. I saw the look on my girlfriend’s face at the time. The pain in her eyes, my interior flooded with shame and memories came flooding back. Undealt with trauma began to resurface and I felt myself spiralling. Her pain and my actions activated parts of me that had been dormant and hidden for so long.
THEN ONE DAY I WAS ‘CAUGHT’.
I WANTED TO STOP LIVING THAT LIFE.
I saw the look on my girlfriend’s face at the time. The pain in her eyes, my interior flooded with shame and memories came flooding back. Undealt with trauma began to resurface and I felt myself spiralling. Her pain and my actions activated parts of me that had been hidden for so long.
WHAT BELIEFS CHANGED
It wasn’t an easy road. I gave only one choice. LEAN ALL THE WAY IN. Go to depth and don’t look back. One choice with three possible outcomes:
- Commit suicide – the pain and shame was intense.
- End up in a psychiatric ward
- Break free from these limiting patterns and live to share and help others
Thankfully the third is what has transpired, but not without full surrender. I nearly went bankrupt, I spent countless hours in solitude, weeping, screaming, losing the parts of me that no longer served. On my lounge room floor with what appeared to be endless tears flowing I was breaking and felt less than before I could experience the wholeness that was me. I lost and cut lifetime friendships, I distanced myself from all that I knew to be real in my world. I felt tragically alone and suicidal. I was hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, failed businesses, failed friendships, disorientation, being alone and constant confusion, anger and deep sadness. I worked with shamans, councilors, therapists, coaches, healers and more. One of my closest friends would periodically visit me and take me to get groceries, because I had no money, I was forever thankful as tears rolled down my face. I was such a “big man” in the world, and then I felt like nothing. Reverting to cleaning toilets and scrubbing floors to get some money to eat and carry some substance, my ego was dissolving.
I would say to myself… “Multiple university degrees, grand dreams and this is what I now am – a toilet cleaner?” It truly was a hero’s journey with massive ego dissolution…
I spent a great deal of time in solitude and sat with self. My selfishness shifted to enlightened self-interest. I started valuing myself and loving all the parts of myself. I began to believe in myself. I ceased to seek validation outside of myself and through sexuality. I dropped more of the facade and the rage. I dealt with my trauma and childhood wounding.
I was able to finally put into practice all the education around human potentiality, psychology, and the human condition I had exposed myself to (which was me compensating for my feelings of inadequacy and insecurity – beliefs I adopted from a young age from my upbringing).
I dropped the negative self-perception and the attachment I had to what others thought of me. I removed the tough guy masks, yet still kept my resilience and sense of empowerment. I forgave myself, others and took ownership of who and what I had been. I stepped in to compassion and resilience. I owned who I was and what I was…
And so much more…
NEW POSITIVE BEHAVIOURS
I am able to now access my heart in ways I couldn’t before. A deeper sense of compassion, empathetic resonance and loving presence. Primarily because I have been able to do be and do this for myself. I stopped unknowingly hating parts of myself and started to embrace all of who I was.
My connections with others are even deeper. Abundance, wealth, equanimity is easily accessible. I deal with pain and fear in a way that is empowering and allows me to upgrade myself as opposed to shaming myself.
My relationship to my parents, lovers, past, present and future has evolved in great depth. There is peace, true forgiveness because I have allowed myself to feel fully and choose to forge a new path of powerful momentum.
I don’t run from my relationships, nor do I aggress to protect my fragile self. That fragile self has cracked open and is no longer. I am who I am. Clean, present and honest in who I am in the world and not leaky living in the shadows…
WHO AM I NOW?
I serve from a place of stability, clarity and certainty. I know who I am in the world and what I want. I am far less judgmental because I judge myself less. I don’t hold on to grudges and pain. I allow myself to breathe through the discomfort.
My confidence is genuine and I trust myself like I never have before. This means I am no longer doubting myself and I am able to bring that level of certainty into all areas of my life. No dream is too big and no challenge too overwhelming.
Willingness,integrity, being a safe harbor and equanimity underpins the way I express myself in the world towards myself, my beloved, my loved ones, my clients and my service and mission.
WAYS TO GROW WITH STEFANOS
Men, are ready to conquer your fears, release the shame, surround yourself with men that SEE you, get clear on your vision, be the man you were meant to be and grow in to your power and purpose?
Ladies, are ready to release the wounds of the past, to learn how to trust again, to feel safe in your bodies, to call in true and authentic love and to understand men from a completely new paradigm?
Feeling stuck in your relationship? Are you on the same page with your desires, sexuality and dreams? Are you needing to recover from infidelity and not sure how? If yes, it's time to uplevel your relationship in all the ways.