As I sit and watch, observe the world around me behave, watching my nephews eat and people stroll, walk and run past I can’t help but to feel the world around me…
Ever since I was a child I could really FEEL the world, people and their pain. I would feel their pain in order to not feel alone in the world. I also experienced so much of it myself that I wanted to help others with their pain.
I spent most of my life living in the dark. Either pretending I had no shadow or only wanting to focus on my “good side”. And even now, when feeling extreme pressure or convenient I revert to that place. Whether it is a new year, decade, month or day. I am making a choice right here and right now. That choice is to stop polarizing and start embracing all of me, not just the convenient parts.
There is light and dark in all of us. We live in contrast. We like to avoid what is perceived as ugly, “not good” or bad. We are shamed in to only presenting the best of us. This is unrealistic and unattainable.
“The intimate and blissful dance between taking & being taken allows us to know ourselves at such depth”. This is contrast dynamics/polarity dynamics & the song of the masculine & the feminine, which resides within all of us.
I have been really contemplating and feeling this a lot lately. Asking myself whether or not my interests and actions are “too selfish”.
Am I not considering others enough in my decision making and more prominently, am I too easily put out? Am I not adaptive enough. I’m dealing with some acute responsibilities at the moment and it’s stoping me from personal stuff that I’d like to be doing.
It is often rare to create a relationship that is truly free. Freedom defined as our willingness to be present to all that unravels within the relationship, whilst also been not attached to the fruits of our efforts.
This does not mean that we are careless in the relationship, it actually means we care at such a depth that we have merged the selfish with the selfless. We are grounded in our expression and our energetic imprint allows those in our lives to feel that they have wings.
It has been really difficult being back here “home”… What is home? It has changed for me so much. The last few years have been turbulent, revealing, painful, healing and empowering. Being back in this place has disorientated me in many ways.
Yes, it has been nurturing to my soul, my dear friends, blessed life long connections, family and loved ones, yet I feel displaced. Have you ever been somewhere that felt so familiar, yet you feel you didn’t belong anymore? I am here.
Codependency keeps us in old patterns of reliance, low self-worth and playing safe. The patterns around codependency rely on others to feel “good”, safe, “whole”. This sensation and yearning of wanting to feel complete or whole reside within all of us.
Where do you feel you could be more present to deepening or opening the heart of your beloved and in turn get to know more about you? For me, it is more profound layers of compassion and deepened empathy. Remember, others have a history of hurt that they now also find it difficult to give their hearts and trust again…
In a relationship, we often let our past infiltrate our present. We allow our unconscious and unresolved wounding to dictate how we behave, how we treat others and how we see ourselves.
The ego simply wants to protect us, to keep us safe and help us remain in what is familiar to us. The ego-self is not “bad.”. The ego is simply grounding us and what it knows, keeping our bodies minds and the emotional being safe and away from harm.
Men and women are different. This is not a “bad” thing. We get to celebrate our differences and our sameness simultaneously. We all think we desire equality, but do we really desire equity? It’s safe to be different, in fact necessary.