Rejection is painful, it stops us in our tracks, paralyses us and pulls us into a vortex of lower self-worth. Rejection keeps us playing small in life, forgetting who we truly are, what we are capable of and what matters.
This energy, which applies to both men and women is less about gender and more about expression in this specific context. We talk about these traits in “masculine” terms because they are associated with that contrasted energetic expression. We can use other terms such as: “go energy” or “do energy”. These energies are vital for us but when extreme like anything becomes unhealthy.
Trauma is not simple. We can’t compare one’s trauma to another’s. “I wasn’t sexually abused or tortured, therefore I shouldn’t be distressed”. One’s trauma is not “worse” than someone else’s. And it’s difficult as we place a hierarchy on certain experiences. We must break away from comparing and observe our own experiences.
See that little child in your lover. There is a little one inside each of us.
We become confused because when we are hurt by the actions of adults. We see adults who “should know better”. We witness mature, developed adults taking actions that are hurtful, malicious & laden with intent.
Masculinity is not a fad, it’s not “bad”, toxic or wrong. Masculinity as an expressive construct is natural to us as men. As men, in our core essence of masculinity, we have lost touch with what it means to be “masculine”.
I am not here to tell you how to “be a man”. That’s your role, you know how. However, most men have lost deep contact with their healthy masculine presence. How to assume that power once more.
In my relationship, friendship has been the cornerstone of our persistence, willingness and desire to come back to loving each other from a new and whole place, not past patterns and conditioning.
Do not take your friendships for granted… In the realm of intimate relationships, friendship Lays the foundation for love to flourish. Relationships are more than just a hormonal rush, explosive sex and unicorns and rainbows. YES, they are all these things and more.
How can we truly be happy with who we are? How can we truly be happy without guilt? The insight in to this is quite simple…
Firstly, this isn’t a gender thing. It’s a people thing. We are often really scared of change.
This is often a tough one in relationships. We want people to change with us, to do what we do, try what we try, feel what we feel and share similar interests.
At a primal level, it is our nervous system feeling safe in the presence of familiarity. Additionally, when we share similar paths, values and interests we are all part of the “in-group”. In social psychology, this is crucial to one’s feeling of being safe and surviving.
Space… The great divide. I am not speaking to the space we may know as outer space, the cosmos or the universe. I am referring to the space we require in relationships. We forget the utter importance of what space provides us.
Space is a bridge. Attraction, eroticism, connection and intimacy not only comes from closeness, but it comes from space, distance and a yearning to be in each other’s presence. And the creation of space is an “art”. Too much and one is perhaps forgotten, not often enough and one may feel suffocated and the loss of magnetism.
We all have stories… We all have a past. Most of our pasts are less lopsided than we think.
Amidst the chaos, confusion and the volatility exists a place where there is at the least; some peace. My past and childhood at large weren’t pretty… Many of us share similar pasts.
At times we often gaze into the sky, into nothingness, to the stars, to the horizon, to apparent emptiness.
In these times of deep and sincere gazing, we question our place and path. We abstractly enquire into the nature of our existence, of our actions and our feelings.