Relationship Green Flags

  • Practices self-care & hygiene 
  • Introspective & thoughtful
  • Has healthy boundaries 
  • Self-sufficient 
  • Demonstrates gratitude with ease
  • Consistent in their word
  • Has rich meaningful and open friendships 
  • Financially adept 
  • Healthy in the body
  • Ability to listen intently to those with a differing opinion 
  • Demonstrates a capacity to be vulnerable

A green flag essentially means that you feel safe to proceed, pursue and explore with a deeper level of vulnerability, openness and curiosity. Your guard is down and you are ready to not only show the better parts of you but perhaps even the parts that don’t look that flash.

We need to choose what a ‘green flag’ is for us and what one isn’t. It comes down to our values, upbringing, wounds, trauma, desires, goals, ambitions, inhibitions, vulnerabilities, proclivities and so much more.

What triggers you may not trigger another. What bothers you may not be a bother for another. Perhaps you grew up with an alcoholic mother so there is a sensitivity, charge, or higher concern to your prospective partner’s relationship to alcohol. Whereas someone without that life experience immediately perceives the situation differently.

Is this wrong? No. It is what it is for you. Knowing yourself and holding a capacity to speak your truth and demonstrate your needs in a healthy communicative way helps you align with a person suited to who you are and who you wish to be.

One of these may not be a GO AHEAD signal for you, but couple a few of these together and all of a sudden your nervous system is feeling safer. You are now curious and you are leaning in – metaphorically, emotionally and physically.

You are aroused in every sense of the word because you feel safe. Red flags don’t help us feel safe, we move with doubts fear, trepidation, confusion and concern. We do not feel confident in being open and often red flags activate a part of us that is traumatized or wounded.

The old protective parts come out and we either feel like we need to aggress in order to protect, run in order to hide or we freeze because we are in shock. These are more extreme versions of a red flag, however tap into what is happening for you on this spectrum and determine what is a green flag for you.

What would you add to the list?

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



The Approval Of The Father

Ah that fleeting moment when Dad approves you with his warm smile… And then, gone… There is great dignity and reverence in feeling the warmth, the solidarity and the support of the sacred father or grandfather energy. I recall often as a child yearning for the approval and the support of my father. Dearly wanting his wisdom imparted, the gentleness of his hand to guide me through life as I at times felt like I was catapulting through the cosmos.

Why ‘One Is Glad To Be Of Service’

Many years ago, I watched a beautiful movie called Bicentennial Man with Robin Williams. An unfolding and beautiful story about an AI Robot who is an enigma and somehow carries consciousness, awareness and metacognition. The journey unravels that he continues to grow and wishes to ‘BE-come’ human. What does it mean to be human?

Nurturing A Woman’s Heart

Where do you feel you could be more present to deepening or opening the heart of your beloved and in turn get to know more about you? For me, it is more profound layers of compassion and deepened empathy. Remember, others have a history of hurt that they now also find it difficult to give their hearts and trust again…

Keeping It Real

For us to love each other we must respect each others anger.

Fierceness is an expression of inner strength; violence is an expression of frustrated, unconscious impotence. To disagree when in Union is natural.

What Is Sexual Polarity?

If we are experiencing a lack of sexual charge in our relationships it could be for many reasons, and we need to get real with what they may be – stress, disinterest, health issues, distractions, priority shifts, distance (emotional and/or physical) and more.
The deeper the difference, the more pronounced the sexual attraction. Sexual attraction occurs in the differences between people. Emotional attraction is developed through “sameness”, connection and rapport. We require both to thrive.


Complete this assessment to uncover the exact blocks preventing you from attracting and experiencing the love and intimacy you truly desire

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