Relationship Green Flags

  • Practices self-care & hygiene 
  • Introspective & thoughtful
  • Has healthy boundaries 
  • Self-sufficient 
  • Demonstrates gratitude with ease
  • Consistent in their word
  • Has rich meaningful and open friendships 
  • Financially adept 
  • Healthy in the body
  • Ability to listen intently to those with a differing opinion 
  • Demonstrates a capacity to be vulnerable

A green flag essentially means that you feel safe to proceed, pursue and explore with a deeper level of vulnerability, openness and curiosity. Your guard is down and you are ready to not only show the better parts of you but perhaps even the parts that don’t look that flash.

We need to choose what a ‘green flag’ is for us and what one isn’t. It comes down to our values, upbringing, wounds, trauma, desires, goals, ambitions, inhibitions, vulnerabilities, proclivities and so much more.

What triggers you may not trigger another. What bothers you may not be a bother for another. Perhaps you grew up with an alcoholic mother so there is a sensitivity, charge, or higher concern to your prospective partner’s relationship to alcohol. Whereas someone without that life experience immediately perceives the situation differently.

Is this wrong? No. It is what it is for you. Knowing yourself and holding a capacity to speak your truth and demonstrate your needs in a healthy communicative way helps you align with a person suited to who you are and who you wish to be.

One of these may not be a GO AHEAD signal for you, but couple a few of these together and all of a sudden your nervous system is feeling safer. You are now curious and you are leaning in – metaphorically, emotionally and physically.

You are aroused in every sense of the word because you feel safe. Red flags don’t help us feel safe, we move with doubts fear, trepidation, confusion and concern. We do not feel confident in being open and often red flags activate a part of us that is traumatized or wounded.

The old protective parts come out and we either feel like we need to aggress in order to protect, run in order to hide or we freeze because we are in shock. These are more extreme versions of a red flag, however tap into what is happening for you on this spectrum and determine what is a green flag for you.

What would you add to the list?

STEFANOS SIFANDOS
Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

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