Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Masculine Closeness & Sexuality

I just finished leading my weekly webinar with my group of men from Reclaim Your Kingdom. It was a beautiful unravelling of truth, honesty and transparency.

The recurring themes were emasculation through sexuality, self-love and the yearning for closeness. Not knowing how to, we as men (so many of us) have reverted to unhealthy practices of sexuality.

We have moved through such a depth of emptiness, where we have disconnected from ourselves and disconnected from the expression of healthy sexual energy.

We all yearn for connection, closeness, deep opening and a yearning for intimate exchange, to learn, grow and become fuller versions of ourselves. This was the recurring theme amongst all of the men this evening – to go deep, but not knowing how to because of all the cultural, familial, and systemic pollution we have been fed and then chosen to assimilate in to our being as ‘hard fact and truth’.

We must learn as men to be more discerning with the choices we make and who we are as men – too soften when we need to an step in to vertical vulnerability and discerning power when called to. Observing our patterns of behaviour, being-ness and and sexual expression can liberate us if we allow it to.

Self-abuse, entrenched in unhealthy, fear, pain and extended pornography as a tool for ignoring, isolation, distraction and dissociating is the unhealthy self. The healthy self is connected, vibrant, full, honest, inquisitive, feeling and present.

We ignore the wonder of who we are. Society feels and thinks that men are dissociated with their sexuality (and they are) by nature (but not by nature by conditioning).

We reveal ourselves when we get real with ourselves, when we commit to being transparent with who we are and want we want. We seek connection. But first we must fulfill ourselves by filling our own cup with the essence of who we are through our own spark.

When we do this, we evolve to be men of stature, men of strength, men of connection. When we understand our darkness, we become full. When we make peace with our pain, fears, insecurities, addictions, darkness and solace we we live a life of wholeness.

We feel empty, lifeless and disconnected in our sexuality if we ignore the truth of what we want. If we deny our need to connect and learn from each other in depth, we are denying who we are. We live in fallacy and ignorant detachment.

Immaturity in sexuality comes from not choosing to explore the depths of being, not knowing how to understand self, nurture self and love self so that we can then express this to those in our lives that we value and that matter.

We all wish to be seen, heard, known and felt – even if we fear it. We thrive and grow and transmute the old through this process of elevating self and merging the mind, matter and spirit.

Consciousness stems from being present to ignoring societal norms that are unhealthy and oppressed. When we reach a state of connected consciousness, we become more mindful of who we wish to allow in to our lives.

Healthy dynamics come from cultivating solid and connected relationships with our inner feminine and masculine bodies and expression. Sexuality can be transcendent, transmutative and liberating. We are ready to release our pain and step in to our power. Move from chaos and profoundly in to clarity…

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
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