Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Masculine Closeness & Sexuality

I just finished leading my weekly webinar with my group of men from Reclaim Your Kingdom. It was a beautiful unravelling of truth, honesty and transparency.

The recurring themes were emasculation through sexuality, self-love and the yearning for closeness. Not knowing how to, we as men (so many of us) have reverted to unhealthy practices of sexuality.

We have moved through such a depth of emptiness, where we have disconnected from ourselves and disconnected from the expression of healthy sexual energy.

We all yearn for connection, closeness, deep opening and a yearning for intimate exchange, to learn, grow and become fuller versions of ourselves. This was the recurring theme amongst all of the men this evening – to go deep, but not knowing how to because of all the cultural, familial, and systemic pollution we have been fed and then chosen to assimilate in to our being as ‘hard fact and truth’.

We must learn as men to be more discerning with the choices we make and who we are as men – too soften when we need to an step in to vertical vulnerability and discerning power when called to. Observing our patterns of behaviour, being-ness and and sexual expression can liberate us if we allow it to.

Self-abuse, entrenched in unhealthy, fear, pain and extended pornography as a tool for ignoring, isolation, distraction and dissociating is the unhealthy self. The healthy self is connected, vibrant, full, honest, inquisitive, feeling and present.

We ignore the wonder of who we are. Society feels and thinks that men are dissociated with their sexuality (and they are) by nature (but not by nature by conditioning).

We reveal ourselves when we get real with ourselves, when we commit to being transparent with who we are and want we want. We seek connection. But first we must fulfill ourselves by filling our own cup with the essence of who we are through our own spark.

When we do this, we evolve to be men of stature, men of strength, men of connection. When we understand our darkness, we become full. When we make peace with our pain, fears, insecurities, addictions, darkness and solace we we live a life of wholeness.

We feel empty, lifeless and disconnected in our sexuality if we ignore the truth of what we want. If we deny our need to connect and learn from each other in depth, we are denying who we are. We live in fallacy and ignorant detachment.

Immaturity in sexuality comes from not choosing to explore the depths of being, not knowing how to understand self, nurture self and love self so that we can then express this to those in our lives that we value and that matter.

We all wish to be seen, heard, known and felt – even if we fear it. We thrive and grow and transmute the old through this process of elevating self and merging the mind, matter and spirit.

Consciousness stems from being present to ignoring societal norms that are unhealthy and oppressed. When we reach a state of connected consciousness, we become more mindful of who we wish to allow in to our lives.

Healthy dynamics come from cultivating solid and connected relationships with our inner feminine and masculine bodies and expression. Sexuality can be transcendent, transmutative and liberating. We are ready to release our pain and step in to our power. Move from chaos and profoundly in to clarity…

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
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To Honour Is To Create Together

“When I truly honoured myself, I was able to honour women”…

In this life I have been blessed to transform many times over. There have been times where I have delved deep in to my own self solo and in isolation. There have been times when I have been deeply supported by other brothers. And there have been times where I have been guided by the divine presence of the feminine.

Focus On The “NOW”

Stop reminiscing about and being attached to the pain and fear of the past, so that you may justify and validate the circumstances of you NOW.

We are so attached to what is familiar that we are unwilling to let go of what no longer serves us I order to preserve an ideology or way of being that feels safe because we have know it all of our lives.

Believe In Yourself

I was lost & I was clear. I believed in my vision, yet was not treating myself or others with care & kindness. I continued to walk the path. I continued to grow through my pain. Some of my coping strategies were unhealthy, some healthy

Signs You Are In Your Shadow Masculine

This energy, which applies to both men and women is less about gender and more about expression in this specific context. We talk about these traits in “masculine” terms because they are associated with that contrasted energetic expression. We can use other terms such as: “go energy” or “do energy”. These energies are vital for us but when extreme like anything becomes unhealthy.

Remembering Your Kingdom

Great men have traditionally been defined by their decisiveness. Their willingness for going beyond the norm. Their ability to present to challenge and meet it with all that they are. They are remembered by their ability to go beyond the basic, the minimum and the necessary.

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