Sexual Expression

It’s not always about ejaculation.

Experiencing sexual trauma can place us in a position where we are mistrusting, feel hurt, hold back and are shy and reluctant to open our hearts. This trauma shuts us out and down, yet at the same time, we have a yearning to be seen, to experience closeness and intimacy. This happens to both men and women and both the masculine and feminine.

Certain areas of our brain become confused with fear and pleasure. And we move in this endless pursuit of attempting to heal wounded parts of our past and psyche, whilst simultaneously being fearful of going there and experiencing love, connection and pleasure.

There are times when we lack conscious awareness around the sexual trauma experienced and we feel uncomfortable in our skin, being seen naked or being openly vulnerable in body and heart. As lovers/partners it becomes imperative we are able to see beyond our own needs at times and be more sensitive to the needs of those that are learning to come back into their bodies.

Sexual expression, sex and emotional intimacy can be a powerful and beautiful healing modality for us and a growth experience for all involved. We get to rewrite our traumatic stories and create new and empowered experiences with people we are deeply connected to, feel safe with and are fond of.

As mature and aware partners we get to ask our sexual partners what their needs are, we get to our express our needs, our yes’s and our no’s. We get to explore and go deeper with each other in transparent ways. Sometimes we witness our partners experiencing uncomfortable tension during sex and we are not sure what to do.

As aware partners, we get to slow it down, take an intermission, ask questions. It’s not always about “finishing”, orgasm or ejaculation. Sometimes it’s getting to know about the nuances of each other at deeper levels. We get to hold emotional space during sexual vulnerability.

We so often want to go hard and achieve a particular result. There are times when this is epic and there are times when we need something else. What are you committed to during sex? What type of sexual intimacy are you wanting? 

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Understanding Trauma

Trauma is not simple. We can’t compare one’s trauma to another’s. “I wasn’t sexually abused or tortured, therefore I shouldn’t be distressed”. One’s trauma is not “worse” than someone else’s. And it’s difficult as we place a hierarchy on certain experiences. We must break away from comparing and observe our own experiences.

The Heavier the Rock, The Lighter the Mind

And… Not always. Without, what I call the practice of ‘Vertical Masculine Presence’ as men we can become lost in our movement through the world. This model of ‘Vertical Masculine Presence’ consists of 6 key practices. Let’s unpack them!

The Domestication Of Man

Our time to excel in a way we have not before is here. We are being asked by our higher selves to forge a version of man that rises above the chaotic nature of our time and expand in consciousness.

To Ravage Wildly Begins and Ends With Openness and Trust

For the masculine to take the feminine in to ecstasy, both softness in surrender and authenticity in leadership must transpire. THIS IS DEEPLY ABOUT CONSENT, CONNECTION & MUTUAL TRUST. THIS IS NOT ABOUT SELFISH DOMINANCE OR OPPRESSION.

To Honour Is To Create Together

“When I truly honoured myself, I was able to honour women”…

In this life I have been blessed to transform many times over. There have been times where I have delved deep in to my own self solo and in isolation. There have been times when I have been deeply supported by other brothers. And there have been times where I have been guided by the divine presence of the feminine.

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