Expressive Connection

We yearn, we wish, we feel, we ‘know’, we dream, we envision, we care, we want, we desire, we need – yet we refrain. We hold back, we retract, we restrict, we constrict and we live in and from unconscious and patterned fears. Why?

For the most part we do not ‘know’ any different, any better and we are afraid to experience the unfamiliar. We are afraid to venture in to the unknown. The unknown scares us, so we refrain from expressing our inner most deepest truths. We hold back from giving ourselves because the fear of being hurt is overwhelming.

We live a mediocre, disconnected life. A life that does not venture in to what matters. We cease to challenge ourselves and the oppressive force of silencing our authentic nature debilitates our capacity to connect meaningfully and lovingly.

This is sad. There are so many beautiful souls who wish to give and receive openly and in transparent revealing and vulnerability. How can we give and allow ourselves to feel fully the love and sincere care of another if we are stuck in a perpetual cycle of pain, suffering and repetitive fear? We cannot.

We limit the quality of our life experiences, we find ourselves pulling back from life, not giving our all and not being present to life. Life becomes dull, distant and we find ourselves lacking conscious relationships and intimate connections. Our ability to be vulnerable lessens, therefore, limiting our sharing with those we care about.

There is however an opportunity to ‘reverse’ all of this and to live an abundant life of sharing, being, connecting and loving. A life that is worthy of embodiment, embracement and connection. When we realise our worth, when we realise our empowered ability to break patterns of fear and limitations and leap in to a space of sacred union with self – we begin to embody truthful transformation.

Here, we learn to give to others, to unite differently. From a healthy place of being. In this state we are free from the limitations of the past, we actively choose to release pain, fear and the burden of not being enough. We grow with challenge and we welcome the unknown. Here, in this space the quality of our intimate connections deepen and our ability to love expands.

Our heart opens and it becomes about authentic expression, life becomes about service, non-attached service and trust. We express in order to feel. We express because it is the ‘right’ thing to do. We are not attached to an outcome. Today, tomorrow and for the rest of your life, if you feel some-THING within, express and be not attached to how another may respond but rather, speak, embody and be because it serves your highest truth. This is evolution – this is expansion.

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos

Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Stef Sifandos

Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

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Shadow Alert

I have a confession. It’s very real for me and has been for some time. This morning I realized the potency of my being and my behaviour…
For many years, intensified violence and aggression were my go-to. I carried internal rage and suppressed trauma that often (not always) expressed itself in physical violence, drunkenness and self-loathing.

Men, Just LISTEN, Don’t Fix

As men, we yearn to fix, it feels like an accomplishment, like we have conquered the challenge. There is more to this though. There are times when the situation, perceived problem or pain does not require anything else but our presence.

We want to fix in order to feel useful, worthy or of value. I know I have in the past. We don’t realise that our own insecurities prevent us from going deeper with our loved ones. Our beloved at times simply wants to be seen and heard.

Secrets Are The Calluses Of The Heart

Secrets are like calluses upon our hearts. The more we keep, the more hardened we become…

I spent so many years hiding. Not trusting myself, doubting who I was, being so frustrated with the world and what I perceived to be a weakness that I lied about everything. I did not want to be seen as “weak”.

The Power Of Belief In Relationship

If you don’t believe in yourself or your beloved, you will never grow and be in consistent friction within your own mindscape and your dynamic with each other.

What Is Sexual Polarity?

If we are experiencing a lack of sexual charge in our relationships it could be for many reasons, and we need to get real with what they may be – stress, disinterest, health issues, distractions, priority shifts, distance (emotional and/or physical) and more.
The deeper the difference, the more pronounced the sexual attraction. Sexual attraction occurs in the differences between people. Emotional attraction is developed through “sameness”, connection and rapport. We require both to thrive.