If we do not choose to connect deeply to those we share our sexual energy with, then who are we, why are we and what are we to ourselves?

There is nothing ‘wrong’ with hedonistic urges and practices. This is a beautiful place to be and is necessary for us as men to explore in order to initially define ourselves, our needs, values and postures.

But how do we gain deep honesty with who we are, where we are? How do we move beyond simple conquests, wins and ‘notches on the belt’? How do we move beyond the superficial stronghold of the ego and how do we move in to deeper, profound connectedness?

If we can do this, we may have our beloved (temporal or long-term) open up to us in such a way that unites us with higher consciousness and sacredness in union.

In pursuit we are deeply engaged, as men we pursue with tenacity. It is innate within us to do so, to hold this posture, but then what? What comes after pursuit? We often vanish?

Are we vanishing from self? The modern dating scene is about quick fixes, hedonism, control, maladaptive emotional disengagement, selfishness and fear driven actions. We disengage often after intimacy, are we asking why? What does this mean for us?

We are hiding from ourselves and our fears through the guise of sex and sexual union. But there is not congruent union when we live from fear.

When does pursuit become something of greater substance? How can we share ourselves deeply without inhibition, fear and implicit pain?

To pursue is natural, beautiful and an evolutionary and biological impulse that drives our behaviours. But are we pursuing consciously and with a deeper sense of awareness of self and a ‘selfish selfless’ approach?

What deep fears are we harbouring that may be stunting our growth and stop us from entering and honouring a depth of being for self and for the other?

What are we avoiding when we are pursuing superficially beyond its ‘use by date’? When do we cease to be selfish, create a greater spaciousness and freedom within where we can choose consciously to be in our authentic power?

How can we cultivate a more open and profound sexual energy within ourselves as men and with our sexual partners? How can we cultivate intimacy and loving connection through honouring, admiration and worship?

How can we LEAD and gaze deeply in to our lover’s yoni, eyes, soul and heart and take them to a place they have never been – that we have never been as we explore together?

When we reside in the superficial and swim in the shallow of the superficial, we will not grow, we will not gain and we will not progress our own sexual evolution.

We are emotional/cognitive beings. We need to move out of our own way in order to explore this honouring, we need to release the fears that block our natural expression and embody a deeper sense of self-love.

Can we honour the sacredness of our sexual energy and our energetic ‘Yoni’ within, so that we may gaze deeply in to the eyes of our beloved, so that we may honour the source of life, the cosmic portal, the sacred temple?

There is a path beyond the superficial that allows us to hold mastery over our sexual energy. We are moving through a new dawn, where genuine depth of presence supersedes basic physical sexuality.

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author