Masculine Sexual Health

If we do not choose to connect deeply to those we share our sexual energy with, then who are we, why are we and what are we to ourselves?

There is nothing ‘wrong’ with hedonistic urges and practices. This is a beautiful place to be and is necessary for us as men to explore in order to initially define ourselves, our needs, values and postures.

But how do we gain deep honesty with who we are, where we are? How do we move beyond simple conquests, wins and ‘notches on the belt’? How do we move beyond the superficial stronghold of the ego and how do we move in to deeper, profound connectedness?

If we can do this, we may have our beloved (temporal or long-term) open up to us in such a way that unites us with higher consciousness and sacredness in union.

In pursuit we are deeply engaged, as men we pursue with tenacity. It is innate within us to do so, to hold this posture, but then what? What comes after pursuit? We often vanish?

Are we vanishing from self? The modern dating scene is about quick fixes, hedonism, control, maladaptive emotional disengagement, selfishness and fear driven actions. We disengage often after intimacy, are we asking why? What does this mean for us?

We are hiding from ourselves and our fears through the guise of sex and sexual union. But there is not congruent union when we live from fear.

When does pursuit become something of greater substance? How can we share ourselves deeply without inhibition, fear and implicit pain?

To pursue is natural, beautiful and an evolutionary and biological impulse that drives our behaviours. But are we pursuing consciously and with a deeper sense of awareness of self and a ‘selfish selfless’ approach?

What deep fears are we harbouring that may be stunting our growth and stop us from entering and honouring a depth of being for self and for the other?

What are we avoiding when we are pursuing superficially beyond its ‘use by date’? When do we cease to be selfish, create a greater spaciousness and freedom within where we can choose consciously to be in our authentic power?

How can we cultivate a more open and profound sexual energy within ourselves as men and with our sexual partners? How can we cultivate intimacy and loving connection through honouring, admiration and worship?

How can we LEAD and gaze deeply in to our lover’s yoni, eyes, soul and heart and take them to a place they have never been – that we have never been as we explore together?

When we reside in the superficial and swim in the shallow of the superficial, we will not grow, we will not gain and we will not progress our own sexual evolution.

We are emotional/cognitive beings. We need to move out of our own way in order to explore this honouring, we need to release the fears that block our natural expression and embody a deeper sense of self-love.

Can we honour the sacredness of our sexual energy and our energetic ‘Yoni’ within, so that we may gaze deeply in to the eyes of our beloved, so that we may honour the source of life, the cosmic portal, the sacred temple?

There is a path beyond the superficial that allows us to hold mastery over our sexual energy. We are moving through a new dawn, where genuine depth of presence supersedes basic physical sexuality.

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

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How To Healthily And Confidently Pursue

You must know yourself, your worth, and what you offer. Get clear on your power and value. Live in your vision. Be in your purpose and choose to live that on a day to day basis. Don’t rely on another to “complete” you. You are whole, do your inner work so that you become very clear on that. You don’t “need” others to make you feel better. This energetic comes across as desperate and needy. Lead with an open and pure heart. Don’t be afraid of your honesty, what your needs are, and what you can offer. Present that with prowess.

Learn to say NO

…and at times YES… To really say no is one of the most challenging practices.

How often do you honor your no for the sake of your own needs and not be attached to what others may think of you or how they may react? In my life I have largely oscillated between either keeping completely quiet and withdrawing when I want to vocalize my truth or if I do express its in an extreme manner.

Take Her To God

Remind her that SHE IS a Goddess. Take her to places she never has gone before. Welcome the full expression of her being to permeate the space in which she occupies. Your permission is the congruency and integrity of your presence. You don’t ask for permission, you are permission by your endearing actions and the wisdom that is you.

Boys To Men

Now more than ever we need REAL MEN. The rite of passage of man is so important. We miss a vital aspect of our intra- and interpersonal growth and expansion when we miss a legitimate rite of passage.

The word teenager was not commonly used before the 20th century. Why? Because, when we look at the path of man we can see a linefeed and distinct path of either rapid growth or rapid decline.

Appreciation – Life – Connection – Death

We love, we live, we laugh, we cry, we feel the fullness of life. Life only passes us when we live in states where we do not appreciate what we have. Life passes us by so quickly, because rather than being present to the wonder of the moment, our mind is fast forwarding to a perceived to be more desirable place.

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