There are various expressions of our own sexuality that when we explore deeply, we realise are infinite and simultaneously magnificent. We forget that sexuality is not only a physical construct or expression but has the capacity to take us somewhere of depth and realisation.

We have become conditioned to view our sexuality as a commodity as opposed to something sacred and intimate, that when expressed, held and given with intent, care and connected understanding can empower us and those who we share this with.

I have personally come from a place where as a man I did not understand the power of my sexual energy and therefore was ‘care-less’ with its expression, as opposed to ‘care-full’ with where I directed my sexual energy.

I became lost in an ocean of intensified facade, toxic ego, unhealthy masculinity, distorted expression and a fractured view on self and sexual interaction. This caused much pain and suffering to my own inner being and to those I chose to spend my time with.

To not be self-aware and carry a sense of inner wisdom, self-gnosis and self-connection is a disservice to our own evolution and to the journey of those that we impact.

Sexuality and the harnessing of sexual energy is more than physiological and biological sexual impulses. Yes, they are these too, yet there is more here than meets the eye.

To be stuck in the physical with no real internal compass for navigating the diverse terrain of sexuality; without our own explored aligned values is to be lost in a vast desert with no food, no water and no sense of direction.

We panic, we scrummage and we succumb to the bare minimum. We are better than this, we are more than this and we carry a more profound depth to who we are.

It was not until was hit with the hard truth of being aware of my internal ignorance and my externalised distorted and unfair expression that I was able to view the various parts of myself with a greater reverence and greater harmony.

What does it mean to take advantage of oneself mindlessly? It means to be blind to our potential and to waver rapidly to societal pressures. To use sexuality as a tool for isolation, hyper-selfishness and a place to ‘forget’ our ‘problems’ and lives. I believe many of us are this, I know I was…

As opposed to leveraging and integrating sexuality as a conscious tool to connect, become, grow and support each other through our own healing’s, unhealthy patterning’s and transformations. To realise that sexuality is a gateway to open the heart.

And it is here in the heart space that the magic unravels. This is what we all yearn for. For men, in particular, when this space flourishes, blooms open and expands we feel so liberated. This is the true inner liberation and freedom that every man yearns for…

To be this and do this requires, profound attention to one’s inner world and outer expressions. To observe our inner speak, our feeling state, our coping strategies, our peer groups. how we behave under pressure, how we view sexuality and how we connect to pain, fear and joy alike.

Sexuality is a gift to us all. It is an avenue not only for creating physical life, but also an opportunity for connection, growth and evolution of oneself. If we choose to direct our sexual energy with integrity, genuine curiosity and awareness we become powerful beyond measure.

And the gift we give others is the gift of sexual authenticity and empowerment…

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author