Take your time, don’t rush…

We yearn to move closer, yet we move too fast…

Our counterpart becomes stunned, like a fish out of water, not sure of where they are. We have moved with desperation and scarcity, not clarity and sincerity…

We fear to lose, so we hold on so tight, constricting the breath of the other, they feel engulfed, spaceless in their own space. They gasp for air and grasp for certainty.

It’s too late, we have moved too fast, as we now retract, our shame and guilt are exposed. Shame distances, segregates, and eliminates connection.

Now the connection is severed, we feel lost and isolated. Sitting there, exposed for who we are, the shadow rears itself and speaks louder than the heart.

Naked, afraid, disconnected, we yearn for intimate touch, yet we have moved too fast. With haste, we haven’t taken our time, we haven’t been patient… Why? Because we have moved from fear.

Fear of losing what is before us. The beauty, the wonder of the new, we have been too quick to reveal what is beneath the veil. Too quick to be naked, yet we haven’t fully prepared ourselves for that.

We want to see the other, rushing to see them, to experience them, yet we haven’t given thought to our expression, vulnerability, and openness.

We have focused so much on “them”, yet we are hiding. It is now in this moment of truth than we realize… “if we wish to open their hearts, we must first open ours”… Both think this and feel this, yet are now too deep to change course. We can go forward not fully present or we can fully retract, both feel inauthentic and unsafe.

In these moments we realize the importance of transparency, trust, and presenting ourselves raw, not holding back.

Yes, the sex is hungered for.

Yes, the nakedness is requested.

Yes, the touch is yearned for.

Yes, the reciprocal desire wishes to be tasted.

Yes, the ravishment and ravaging are welcomed.

And yes, a desire to be witnessed and witness is strong.

But not without the opening of heart and mind.

Presence to the moment and acceptance of the WHOLE of who we are is being requested.

How can you give this to another if you have not felt this for yourself towards yourself?

You are being asked now more than ever to go deep into all of you. The parts you love and equally despise. The parts you are proud of and equally fear. Why? To give yourself, to connect sexually, cosmically, and fully to your lover, yourself, the world.

The world needs all of you. The old way of manipulation, force and rushing from fear has failed us. Sexual liberation is us liberating first our own hearts and then may we meet the other in their cravings.

When two become three sexual sacred union because they are not fearFULL,, but fearLESS, then the world shifts paradigms. It spins on its axis in a way it has never before.

Yes… Sacred sexuality can liberate us because it is asking we look deep down the kaleidoscope of our own looking glass. Then bring all of that (shamelessly) to the world. It is here sexual union flourishes…

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author