The Great Divide

Space… The great divide. I am not speaking to the space we may know as outer space, the cosmos or the universe. I am referring to the space we require in relationships. We forget the utter importance of what space provides us.

Space is a bridge. Attraction, eroticism, connection and intimacy not only comes from closeness, but it comes from space, distance and a yearning to be in each other’s presence. And the creation of space is an “art”. Too much and one is perhaps forgotten, not often enough and one may feel suffocated and the loss of magnetism.

In my previous relationships, I would either be too intense and fear space because of my own insecurities and fears of abandonment and being rejected or being as not doing the right thing that I would not provide space. Men, let me be clear! This is unattractive and not healthy.

Space allows us to know ourselves. It is distance, yearning and the thinking of another that helps us see their true worth. Now, it must be said that to effortlessly create space in your relationships means that you must deal with the primal and/or environmental insecurities that drive your ability to be more self-assured and confident.

We think we will miss out, lose ourselves and fear loss in the relationship. We self-blame. “Did I do something wrong”? Was it me”? “Why do they need space, do they not like me anymore”? Our monkey minds can run wild. This is not healthy.

Coming back to understanding and knowing that space allows us to miss each other, gain perspective, have our own interests and move away from unhealthy expressions of co-dependency. It is necessary we have our own lives, social support structures and interests and purpose alongside sharing a present and future together.

In terms of sexual polarity, space allows us to feel and yearn for our partner’s presence and love. Space may seem daunting. We may feel like we are creating distance, however, if we deal with our stuff, have healthy agreements in place and carry self-worth, space can be a great revealer of truth and a liberator in relationships.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

[fbcomments]

KEEP READING

The Masculine Within

What happens when the masculine within leaves? All the times we’ve neglected ourselves didn’t trust, obsessed with excessive and external validation and approval and couldn’t contain our power, we lost our ability to love ourselves as we were.
We judged and didn’t appreciate. We felt unprotected, loose in our boundaries and excessive in our ways. Aggressive, short-tempered and sad that we were not seen. This is a big part of the “father wounding”.

Men – The Need For Freedom

Traditionally, men have required freedom in order to function, in order to feel safe, at peace and connected.

This is not a, nor THE problem. The ‘problem’ (or perhaps puzzle to put together and mystery to solve) is how we have defined freedom as a collective and how we will define it moving forward?

Masculine Sexual Intelligence

There is a deep intelligence that exists around conscious sexuality, especially for men. We have been so deeply disconnected from meaningful and authentic sexual connection for too long and the reality is: we do not know what we do not know.

We think and believe sexuality should be a particular way based on the fallacy of rampant and mainstream pornography and polarised and unrealistic views of romance and sexuality that we are exposed to but the truth is we are deeply disconnected from relating consciously in our sexuality and own sexual expression.

You Cheated – Do You Tell?

Are you asking yourself: “What kind of question is this?”. I asked myself the same question for TOO MANY years, until I came face to face with a rude abruption of life that was so painful, I had no choice but to look deeply at my life and all that I was being.

Role-mate Or Soul-mate?

A role-mate is born of desperation, survival and fear. We get together to survive, not thrive. We don’t share deep values, we are here to serve primal needs only. Our intimacy is empty and scarce. We base our relationships on convenient agreements of doing in the world. Soul-mates come together to thrive, expand their connection to self, each other and the world. They are here to grow and explore their sexuality, spirituality, contributions and more. They are clear that they are here to serve the greater good of society and themselves. Which are you???

START WITH YOUR LOVE BLOCKS

Complete this assessment to uncover the exact blocks preventing you from attracting and experiencing the love and intimacy you truly desire