Are you asking yourself: “What kind of question is this?”. I asked myself the same question for TOO MANY years, until I came face to face with a rude abruption of life that was so painful, I had no choice but to look deeply at my life and all that I was being.

For me, it was about being honest with what was driving my actions and behaviour. It was peeking beyond the superficial, the surface level and the facade of my expression and choosing to go deeper in to my unconscious and unchecked pain and my fears.

I spent years dishonouring myself and disrespecting others. I hurt those I loved with hyper-selfish and fear driven behaviour that caused distance and isolation, friction and tension, blame and shame.

To live like this is to live in destitute and disconnection. We play with our lives and the lives of others. Do you tell the person you have committed to that you have cheated? Yes, absolutely. Why? Because the truth does not set us free.

The truth, however provides us with a foundation and platform to leap from and cultivate our own version of integrated and authentic connection and real intimacy (we all yearn for intimacy). If we continue to live in lies, we force more lies, deeper facade, and more distance.

When we cease to live in lies, we embrace the possibility of authentic truth and what I call vertical vulnerability. This vertical vulnerability allows us to be confident, certain and clear in our posture.

We become willing, involved and present to all of life. Importantly, we allow others to choose a path based on facts, not bullshit, not fear and not false promises based on a version of self that is connected to fear and internal shadow based and hidden suffering.

To carry this willingness to express and communicate our truth no matter what perceived pain may come with it will not outweigh the pain of living a continual life and false existence predicated upon what we are not as opposed to what we truly are.

When we choose (consciously or unconsciously) to dishonour others we owe it to them and to the evolution of our own growth to show up to that in truth and self-belief. Often, the most difficult conversations are the ones that liberate us profoundly.

I ask you, what is your story around telling lies? Share below…

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author