You Cheated – Do You Tell?

Are you asking yourself: “What kind of question is this?”. I asked myself the same question for TOO MANY years, until I came face to face with a rude abruption of life that was so painful, I had no choice but to look deeply at my life and all that I was being.

For me, it was about being honest with what was driving my actions and behaviour. It was peeking beyond the superficial, the surface level and the facade of my expression and choosing to go deeper in to my unconscious and unchecked pain and my fears.

I spent years dishonouring myself and disrespecting others. I hurt those I loved with hyper-selfish and fear driven behaviour that caused distance and isolation, friction and tension, blame and shame.

To live like this is to live in destitute and disconnection. We play with our lives and the lives of others. Do you tell the person you have committed to that you have cheated? Yes, absolutely. Why? Because the truth does not set us free.

The truth, however provides us with a foundation and platform to leap from and cultivate our own version of integrated and authentic connection and real intimacy (we all yearn for intimacy). If we continue to live in lies, we force more lies, deeper facade, and more distance.

When we cease to live in lies, we embrace the possibility of authentic truth and what I call vertical vulnerability. This vertical vulnerability allows us to be confident, certain and clear in our posture.

We become willing, involved and present to all of life. Importantly, we allow others to choose a path based on facts, not bullshit, not fear and not false promises based on a version of self that is connected to fear and internal shadow based and hidden suffering.

To carry this willingness to express and communicate our truth no matter what perceived pain may come with it will not outweigh the pain of living a continual life and false existence predicated upon what we are not as opposed to what we truly are.

When we choose (consciously or unconsciously) to dishonour others we owe it to them and to the evolution of our own growth to show up to that in truth and self-belief. Often, the most difficult conversations are the ones that liberate us profoundly.

I ask you, what is your story around telling lies? Share below…

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Humility in Life

There is an opportunity that takes place every so often & rarely in a man’s life is this opportunity presented because we are too stubborn to embrace this gift. That opportunity is to be humbled by the continuity of life.

The only way to embrace this level of humility is to be open to transparent, evolving transformation, change of self, behaviour, beliefs, actions & expressions.

Boys To Men

Now more than ever we need REAL MEN. The rite of passage of man is so important. We miss a vital aspect of our intra- and interpersonal growth and expansion when we miss a legitimate rite of passage.

The word teenager was not commonly used before the 20th century. Why? Because, when we look at the path of man we can see a linefeed and distinct path of either rapid growth or rapid decline.

Signs You Are In Your Shadow Masculine

This energy, which applies to both men and women is less about gender and more about expression in this specific context. We talk about these traits in “masculine” terms because they are associated with that contrasted energetic expression. We can use other terms such as: “go energy” or “do energy”. These energies are vital for us but when extreme like anything becomes unhealthy.

The Richness Of Union

There is a richness that accompanies commitment. When we commit to the intertwining of all the expressions of self, we grow in to a more encompassed and complete version of who we have always been.

The intertwining of our sexual sacredness may only transpire if we are open to receiving and giving in equanimity. Our sexual energy may only flow when we are free of shame and when we have chosen to commit without inhibition. To be SEEN for all that we are.

You Are Enough

I spent so much of my life in hiding. Hiding from my fears, my anger, my insecurities, my pain, my past. I spent my life hating on myself, filling my mind with the lies I was not enough and not worthy.

You know the dialogue… “Not smart enough, not strong enough, not popular enough, not wealthy enough, just not enough. I covered the not ‘enoughness’ with either retraction or aggression.d


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