Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Men – The Need For Freedom

Traditionally, men have required freedom in order to function, in order to feel safe, at peace and connected.

This is not a, nor THE problem. The ‘problem’ (or perhaps puzzle to put together and mystery to solve) is how we have defined freedom as a collective and how we will define it moving forward?

Freedom has been an incredible and integral part of the masculine psyche. The layers of liberation felt within perceiving to be free has driven men for – well ever perhaps.

This need for freedom has often come at an ‘any cost’ attitude and posture. Here, we have lost our integrity as men, we have lost parts of ourselves by slaughtering our moral fibers.

In relationship we have generally viewed freedom as dominating, being ‘the boss’, in charge, exhibiting oppressive qualities and having the upper hand. Equity let alone equality has had really played a primary role in navigating difference.

As men, we have considered freedom as leading the relationship and doing what we like, when we like, how we like. The leading component is not the issues.

In fact, leading is healthy when it comes with healthy intentions and is not born of fear, self-protection, preservation and survival.

When our well-being is predicated upon this notion of meeting unrealistic postures we feel anxiety that further feeds in to this need to be something that is not achievable due to its unrealistic sustainability.

When we come from desperation, we lose hope and inspiration and we pursue what we don’t have, never really attaining, nor embodying. Our hope becomes ignorant and survival based as opposed to intelligent and non-attached.

Freedom then becomes a state that is driven by fear, not be growth, expansion and evolution. To truly be free we must be non-attached to outcome.

It is here, that as men if we trust we may reap the rewards of true and unadulterated freedom. We must trust ourselves and others. When we release our attachment to freedom, we become ‘free’.

We must cease to project, live from deficit and express from restriction and constriction. Freedom is defined by the need to not be any particular way, but rather to live in trust of one’s own actions.

Men, redefining freedom is redefining our lives and the quality of our relationships. Freedom is not limitless choice, but rather trusting the choices we make and knowing ourselves during the course of that journey.

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Transference – How Good Are You At It?

Attempting to understand this type of behaviour according to a superficial or face value view will only confuse us and distance us form ourselves and our loved ones…

A New Way To Look At Anger

When we pursue what we value with tenacity, unparalleled focus and a mindset of resilience we learn more about ourselves, our capacity and our power than almost any other means of self-discovery.

Let’s redefine aggression for a moment. Let’s look at aggression as inspired relentlessness. It’s a fuel source that sources our highest expression in to the world. Now, raw aggression in times of absolute survival is a different concept.

From Friends To Lovers

In my relationship, friendship has been the cornerstone of our persistence, willingness and desire to come back to loving each other from a new and whole place, not past patterns and conditioning.
Do not take your friendships for granted… In the realm of intimate relationships, friendship Lays the foundation for love to flourish. Relationships are more than just a hormonal rush, explosive sex and unicorns and rainbows. YES, they are all these things and more.

How can we truly be happy with who we are? How can we truly be happy without guilt? The insight in to this is quite simple…

The Heavier the Rock, The Lighter the Mind

And… Not always. Without, what I call the practice of ‘Vertical Masculine Presence’ as men we can become lost in our movement through the world. This model of ‘Vertical Masculine Presence’ consists of 6 key practices. Let’s unpack them!

Intelligence Around Sexuality – Conscious Sexuality

The masculine holding strong, being present, portraying emptiness, death and purpose, having a steady gaze, maintaining attention and being ‘deep’ and the feminine being a wild emotional storm is at times a distortion of these polarities…

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