Men – The Need For Freedom

Traditionally, men have required freedom in order to function, in order to feel safe, at peace and connected.

This is not a, nor THE problem. The ‘problem’ (or perhaps puzzle to put together and mystery to solve) is how we have defined freedom as a collective and how we will define it moving forward?

Freedom has been an incredible and integral part of the masculine psyche. The layers of liberation felt within perceiving to be free has driven men for – well ever perhaps.

This need for freedom has often come at an ‘any cost’ attitude and posture. Here, we have lost our integrity as men, we have lost parts of ourselves by slaughtering our moral fibers.

In relationship we have generally viewed freedom as dominating, being ‘the boss’, in charge, exhibiting oppressive qualities and having the upper hand. Equity let alone equality has had really played a primary role in navigating difference.

As men, we have considered freedom as leading the relationship and doing what we like, when we like, how we like. The leading component is not the issues.

In fact, leading is healthy when it comes with healthy intentions and is not born of fear, self-protection, preservation and survival.

When our well-being is predicated upon this notion of meeting unrealistic postures we feel anxiety that further feeds in to this need to be something that is not achievable due to its unrealistic sustainability.

When we come from desperation, we lose hope and inspiration and we pursue what we don’t have, never really attaining, nor embodying. Our hope becomes ignorant and survival based as opposed to intelligent and non-attached.

Freedom then becomes a state that is driven by fear, not be growth, expansion and evolution. To truly be free we must be non-attached to outcome.

It is here, that as men if we trust we may reap the rewards of true and unadulterated freedom. We must trust ourselves and others. When we release our attachment to freedom, we become ‘free’.

We must cease to project, live from deficit and express from restriction and constriction. Freedom is defined by the need to not be any particular way, but rather to live in trust of one’s own actions.

Men, redefining freedom is redefining our lives and the quality of our relationships. Freedom is not limitless choice, but rather trusting the choices we make and knowing ourselves during the course of that journey.

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos

Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Stef Sifandos

Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

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