Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Men – The Need For Freedom

Traditionally, men have required freedom in order to function, in order to feel safe, at peace and connected.

This is not a, nor THE problem. The ‘problem’ (or perhaps puzzle to put together and mystery to solve) is how we have defined freedom as a collective and how we will define it moving forward?

Freedom has been an incredible and integral part of the masculine psyche. The layers of liberation felt within perceiving to be free has driven men for – well ever perhaps.

This need for freedom has often come at an ‘any cost’ attitude and posture. Here, we have lost our integrity as men, we have lost parts of ourselves by slaughtering our moral fibers.

In relationship we have generally viewed freedom as dominating, being ‘the boss’, in charge, exhibiting oppressive qualities and having the upper hand. Equity let alone equality has had really played a primary role in navigating difference.

As men, we have considered freedom as leading the relationship and doing what we like, when we like, how we like. The leading component is not the issues.

In fact, leading is healthy when it comes with healthy intentions and is not born of fear, self-protection, preservation and survival.

When our well-being is predicated upon this notion of meeting unrealistic postures we feel anxiety that further feeds in to this need to be something that is not achievable due to its unrealistic sustainability.

When we come from desperation, we lose hope and inspiration and we pursue what we don’t have, never really attaining, nor embodying. Our hope becomes ignorant and survival based as opposed to intelligent and non-attached.

Freedom then becomes a state that is driven by fear, not be growth, expansion and evolution. To truly be free we must be non-attached to outcome.

It is here, that as men if we trust we may reap the rewards of true and unadulterated freedom. We must trust ourselves and others. When we release our attachment to freedom, we become ‘free’.

We must cease to project, live from deficit and express from restriction and constriction. Freedom is defined by the need to not be any particular way, but rather to live in trust of one’s own actions.

Men, redefining freedom is redefining our lives and the quality of our relationships. Freedom is not limitless choice, but rather trusting the choices we make and knowing ourselves during the course of that journey.

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Strength In Men

Human sentience thrives on connection. All expressions of human thrive on caring, intimacy and reciprocal respect.

Men can be strong. Men can express strength and prowess and still hold compassion and understanding. Men can still be integrated and connected.

There Will Always Be Peanut Butter

At times we often gaze into the sky, into nothingness, to the stars, to the horizon, to apparent emptiness.

In these times of deep and sincere gazing, we question our place and path. We abstractly enquire into the nature of our existence, of our actions and our feelings.

Our Focus Becomes Our Greatest Super Power

Imagine for a moment that if what you chose to focus on became your absolute reality in that moment? Remain with me for a moment here please. Imagine your thoughts were able to master your body’s faculties – the manner in which you physiologically responded to life – they can…

What Is Masculinity?

Masculinity is not a fad, it’s not “bad”, toxic or wrong. Masculinity as an expressive construct is natural to us as men. As men, in our core essence of masculinity, we have lost touch with what it means to be “masculine”.
I am not here to tell you how to “be a man”. That’s your role, you know how. However, most men have lost deep contact with their healthy masculine presence. How to assume that power once more.

The Approval Of The Father

Ah that fleeting moment when Dad approves you with his warm smile… And then, gone… There is great dignity and reverence in feeling the warmth, the solidarity and the support of the sacred father or grandfather energy. I recall often as a child yearning for the approval and the support of my father. Dearly wanting his wisdom imparted, the gentleness of his hand to guide me through life as I at times felt like I was catapulting through the cosmos.

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