A role-mate is born of desperation, survival and fear. We get together to survive, not thrive. We don’t share deep values, we are here to serve primal needs only. Our intimacy is empty and scarce. We base our relationships on convenient agreements of doing in the world. Soul-mates come together to thrive, expand their connection to self, each other and the world. They are here to grow and explore their sexuality, spirituality, contributions and more. They are clear that they are here to serve the greater good of society and themselves. Which are you?

It’s interesting as most of my life I have wanted to co-create deeply, yet my behavior has isolated me and pushed people away. I wanted to love deeply, however, my core wounding and fears kept people and my genuine expression at bay.

I battled with self-worth, being seen and trust. Until I shifted all of that. Went into it, addressed it, owned and came to peace with it by truly being in it and with it my relationships suffered.

When I walked through this crucible I grew. My sense of self awakened and I saw myself in a completely different light. From this space, I have myself to the world differently. I ceased to come from desperation, defensiveness, or despair.

I stopped playing both the victim and the aggressor. I let people into my life sincerely and I took the armor off that was wrapped around my heart. I at times still become reactive to things in my life that trigger older patterns, however I see them for what they are… the once-dominant not so dominant now trying to re-establish itself as the norm.

Now, I carry truth, freedom and embodiment in my relationships. I’m FAR FROM PERFECT, however, I allow others to see this and me. I honor and respect others. I honor myself, I believe in who I am, trust and own all of my shit. I live far less I’m the shadows and more in truth with less judgment. I’m not as angry and I love deeper. I found the deeper work I did on me, the more I grew and the more my relationships improved and evolved. I could earnestly ask for what I needed and be in integrity with that and also meet the needs of others. 

You are more empowered and wise than you think you are. You too can have the relationship with yourself and others that your heart desires. 

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author