Doing The Inner Work

Firstly, this isn’t a gender thing. It’s a people thing. We are often really scared of change.

This is often a tough one in relationships. We want people to change with us, to do what we do, try what we try, feel what we feel and share similar interests.

At a primal level, it is our nervous system feeling safe in the presence of familiarity. Additionally, when we share similar paths, values and interests we are all part of the “in-group”. In social psychology, this is crucial to one’s feeling of being safe and surviving.

Imagine for a moment being alive 500,000 years ago being out in the wild. If you did something “wrong” you would be kicked out of the safety of the tribe. You would be an “out”cast, on your own in the “out-group”. This would mean certain death. It’s also why so many are terrified of public speaking. YOU vs. the many. If you say something wrong in that open forum you’re OUT!

There is something very primal about wanting others to see us and agree with us and similarly, we don’t want others to change. Imagine for a moment you were able to step into a deep compassion for your partner…

Assume your own this tremendous growth journey – yoga, Tony Robbins, meditations, immersive retreats, Byron Katie, breath practices, inner child healing, trauma therapy, juice cleansing – you know all the things.

And you really want your partner to get on board, but they are resistant… do your best to SEE (feel also) beyond the surface. Perhaps they were exposed to rapid change as a child (volatility, parents leaving suddenly, violence, etc) and change signifies turbulence, being left behind, isolation, loneliness and pain.

They then may have an aversion to change and new and novel things. Be patient. Live your life according to your values. Inspire through action, get clear on your non-negotiable, be gentle and know that you MAY have to have a difficult conversation but before that come from love, understanding and a willingness to focus healthily on you.

There is more to it than this and this may help you connect deeper to your truth and your partner’s

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Being Seen Clearly

When we simply bask in the authentic radiant expression of another and sit still in allowance and free of judgment – the magic of synchronistic unified expression is unleashed. With the stillness of this action comes great power – for the observing, the observer and the observed. As men, when we observe without wanting to change or bend we are allowing the feminine to be seen safely. She feels unhindered and therefore may show up fully.

Men, Just LISTEN, Don’t Fix

As men, we yearn to fix, it feels like an accomplishment, like we have conquered the challenge. There is more to this though. There are times when the situation, perceived problem or pain does not require anything else but our presence.

We want to fix in order to feel useful, worthy or of value. I know I have in the past. We don’t realise that our own insecurities prevent us from going deeper with our loved ones. Our beloved at times simply wants to be seen and heard.

What Women Truly Desire From Their Men

This list is a guide as to how we as men can show up with greater presence, truth and awareness in relationship to self and others. Relationship can ask us to be the best versions of self.

Will you adhere to the call? We all have needs and desires. There have been times in my life that I have wanted more from others, however in reality I was really wanting more from myself.

Healing the Goddess Wound

Healing the goddess wound is going to require effort from all of us. The goddess was once revered. Time to bring this honoring back. What is the goddess wound? It is the suppression of the divine potential and value of the feminine expressive that we all require in order to live harmoniously and flourish sexually, socially, relationally and technologically.

Paying Homage To Women

A message to men so that we may awaken, evolve, expand, release and truly be the authentic power we have always been.A message to woman to embody their magic, forgive openly and unfold in to their authentic power in order to bring back…

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