The Healer and The “Sufferer”

In ancient shamanic traditions, the healer and the “sufferer” conjoin together to journey through the trauma where the shaman/healer deeply supports this releasing of terror in a profound and liberating way. 

The only way any form of passage through the treacherous waters of trauma transpires is that the shaman him/herself has passed through their own pain and fears and has overcome their own demons and darkness.

They have encountered their own helplessness, hopelessness, and pain and have deliberately chosen to move through it, now being initiated in the sacred arts of imparting cosmic wisdom.

In today’s world sadly, many modern clinicians, psychotherapists, and the culture in psycho-emotional health have not moved through their own shattering and rebirthing processes and as a result have repressed themselves in such a way where they are also numb.

Their ability to guide is limited for they have not been through their own dark knights of the soul, they have not taken on the crucible of the hero’s journey and come through with wisdom, a greater sense of self, and courage. This “blind leading the blind” has denied us all of the proper initiations because we live in a society that numbs all too readily and shuns the unknown all too quickly.

When a modern therapist becomes threatened or feels fearful by the BIG emotions or feelings of their client’s sharing their trauma or pain they unconsciously push them away and distance themselves from supporting them more fully.

This occurs because the therapist is in unfamiliar psycho-emotional terrain and hasn’t processed and integrated fully their own pain. In this feeling of isolation, the client feels more alone and more “broken”. When there is a lack of empathetic resonance the therapist, teacher or coach cannot guide adequately the client to freedom. The successful intervention comes from having been there oneself.

Modern science may gain great insights into the mysteries of the past and integration and blending of new technologies and old methodologies may transpire in such a way that we expand consciousness in collaboration not clinical or dry separation.

Find yourself a guide that has been there and is able to hold whatever space you’re in. Remember, all of you must be welcomed.

One is glad to be of service.

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



The Magnetic Holding

There is a calmness that comes from knowing you are held. When a woman knows she is held and seen for who she truly is there is placidity that unravels within the chasms of her heart space.

There is a peacefulness that comes from being known for who you truly are. A peace that tells our bodies we no longer need to pretend. We no longer need to exert so much energy towards the masks of excess protection.

The Heavier the Rock, The Lighter the Mind

And… Not always. Without, what I call the practice of ‘Vertical Masculine Presence’ as men we can become lost in our movement through the world. This model of ‘Vertical Masculine Presence’ consists of 6 key practices. Let’s unpack them!

The Density Of Anger

I can tell you about the physiological effects that excess anger and frustration has on the body. I can tell you how excess stress hormones released throughout the body due to a cognitive spotlight focus of anger damages our neurones.

I can tell you about the feeling of not being in control and how longterm, this affects negatively our sense of self and understanding of who we are. I can tell you that the less we self-regulate the more we have that feeling of not being in control of the direction of our internal monologue, stories we feel ourselves and pain we feel.

We All Have Stories

We all have stories… We all have a past. Most of our pasts are less lopsided than we think.

Amidst the chaos, confusion and the volatility exists a place where there is at the least; some peace. My past and childhood at large weren’t pretty… Many of us share similar pasts.

Go Deep To Go Far

There is so much superficial shit out there. The problem isn’t superficiality, the ‘puzzle’ (as opposed to the problem) is we remain in the superficial for too long. We are too scared to venture into the deep (we will come back around to this).

The superficial is actually healthy and a place where we can find common ground. Imagine being on a date – getting to know someone and your first question is: “so tell me your deepest childhood trauma”?


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