Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Making Peace With Our Destiny

When we make peace with the parts of our lives that challenge our will and reality, we soften in to the power that is life. We often attach ourselves to the idea of what we are ‘meant to be’, who we are meant to be, what we are meant to be, how we are meant to feel and why we are here.

We build these ideas of what life needs to be and we must understand that whilst we have a tremendous capacity to create anything and everything we want, there are times when life steers us in a direction that is unfamiliar. Perhaps we will always reach our ‘destiny’ as what is for shall not pass us, but perhaps not in the way we may think…

When we become rigid in our thinking where we become so attached to what we think ’should’ be in life, we lose the value of the moment, we miss out on the teaching, the lesson and the wisdom of the present because our minds are elsewhere thinking about how life should be and not accepting or being with how life is.

We must look within ourselves for the answers to which we seek. When we do this we begin to be more malleable in our movement, more flexible in our thinking and less attached to the nuances of life. Life will always throw variance at us. Discerning what serves us and what does not can at times be difficult.

How does one reconcile this? How do we make peace and ‘accept’ where we find ourselves? How do we distinguish between what is meant for us and what is not? The key is to understanding that it is all meant for us. We thrive when we embrace life as it is.

This does not mean that an idea or certainty we had about our life’s path is ‘wrong’, it however does mean that we may be taking a detour because it will serve us and those in our lives greater later. Perhaps there are deep lessons, wisdoms and teachings to gain during this time that will enhance our lives.

Simply because we cannot ‘see’ the connections there in real time, it does not mean that they do not exist. Free will and determinism needn’t be isolated. There is a spectrum and life needn’t be one or the other. They can exit in harmony and with every CONSCIOUS choice we make we are creating our ‘destiny’.

To ultimately make peace with who we are we must gain clarity on who we are. Live in accordance with this clarity and be true to your mission, vision and purpose. This cultivates meaning, which stimulates fulfilment, which ultimately has you living authentically and living in truth (living out your destiny and what is for you).

What is for us is for us because we are creating it. When we actively and consciously create our movement through the world, we are empowered and living out our destiny. When we are unconscious in our actions, blind in our decisions and disempowered in our choices we are living a life of disconnection and fallacy.

Life is experienced best when the fullness of life is embraced – inclusive of the pain, the fear, the joy and the successes. The choice is truly yours and ours.

One is always glad to be of service.


Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Are You Afraid Of Being Alone?

How much time do you spend with yourself? We are so drowned out by the millions of voices, the busyness, the clutter, the bombardment of ‘do this’, ‘buy that’ and ‘be this’, that we have forgotten our true nature.

Owning Anger

I’ve been angry at people, myself, collective leadership, culture and everything that isn’t “seamless” in life. I’m judging myself and not owning my anger. I’m stuck in a pattern of pitying myself and thinking I’m weak because I am angry. Whilst I’ve been aware of it, I haven’t slowed down ENOUGH to digest feeling the accumulation of the collective panic, I have been in “response mode”.

The Density Of Anger

I can tell you about the physiological effects that excess anger and frustration has on the body. I can tell you how excess stress hormones released throughout the body due to a cognitive spotlight focus of anger damages our neurones.

I can tell you about the feeling of not being in control and how longterm, this affects negatively our sense of self and understanding of who we are. I can tell you that the less we self-regulate the more we have that feeling of not being in control of the direction of our internal monologue, stories we feel ourselves and pain we feel.

Hug Like You Mean It

Embrace your beloved as if this is the first and last moment you will share. In embracing with complete presence we release inhibition, judgement, self-constraint, self-consciousness and unchecked fear/s.

The Great Divide

Space… The great divide. I am not speaking to the space we may know as outer space, the cosmos or the universe. I am referring to the space we require in relationships. We forget the utter importance of what space provides us.
Space is a bridge. Attraction, eroticism, connection and intimacy not only comes from closeness, but it comes from space, distance and a yearning to be in each other’s presence. And the creation of space is an “art”. Too much and one is perhaps forgotten, not often enough and one may feel suffocated and the loss of magnetism.

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