Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

That Gentle Touch

What an incredible feeling to hold the life force and essence of another in the palm of our hands. Men… that touch, that cradling of our beloved’s head in the palm of our hands. To be present to that level of trust and surrender is a beautiful gift. One that can leave us determined to be grander versions of ourselves.

But how do we gain the confidence and the presence to be open to such an honour. To learn deeply, grow profoundly and immerse intensely in such a gift that is the trust and opening of another to us…? What an amazing opportunity to grow through the holding of another’s heart. To hold their heart in our hands – their history, their joys, their pains, their suffering, their triumphs, their pride and the fears.

Literally in our hands. The power of deliberate touch. The transmutative and transformative power of physically holding another closely – wow… What an opportunity to shift internally what ails us also. This inner softness captured in the palm of our hands as we become deeper and deeper captivated by the gaze and surrendering of our beloved…

What does this mean to be honoured and trusted in such a way. Can this surrendering be viewed as pressure, as pain, as too much responsibility? Can some of us as men shy away from this surrendered intimacy and not know consciously why? Yes, we can. I was once one of these men, who yearned to hold dearly and sincerely, authentically and openly this gentleness, this trust, but could not…

It is not until we delve deep within who we congruently are – the fullness of our shadow self, inclusive of all the experiences that we have accumulated – unseen and seen parts of self that we may be able to then contain the beauty, wonder and sweetness of surrender the handing over what matters to most.

Love as it presents itself in vulnerable exchange is all we truly have in this world. It is what otherwise lights our darkened path when we are deeply distressed, disorientated or confused. The only way to truly appreciate, revere and be humble to this exchange is to know our own being. To have taken our own minds and hearts to our ‘edge’. To explore the unknown and equilibrate our pain points…

When we do this and choose to embody this wholly, we can listen with our hearts openly and we can feel the truth profoundly. Then and only then, we can feel the full touch of our beloved. We can hold them in our hands knowing we are capable of weathering any storm that may arise, in fact we can grow together, bond and bind our paths in the most loving way.

Now, this requires intention, attention, effort and the moving through of great challenge, but the reward is reprieve, immersion in to truth and a life worthy of embodiment. It is here, that this holding becomes powerfully clear. This holding now becomes energising, transformative, inspiring, heart opening and revelatory…

Men, holding your beloved – in all of their vulnerability, surrender, trust, connection, openness, heart and soul is an honour bestowed upon us. We, therefore must choose to ‘do the work’ within and shift the limitations, clutter and patterns that hinder us from traversing depth, the mystery and the eternal truth of ‘sacred merging’ through embodied union.

Yes, we are ready…

One is always glad to be of service. S.Sifandos.


Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Shadow Sexual Desire

We all have sex. Most of us adore sex. Most of us crave it, yet many of us do not know what we truly want when it comes to our sexual desires or fantasies. Our sexual fantasies often remain in the imagination because we are too fearful to explore the meaning of them.

How To Conquer Fear

Fear… It may be consuming you, but there is a way through. Want to break the fear cycles? You can… Importantly, you’re not alone IF……You are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated…Angry and scared…Disappointed and bemused…Confused and in worry…

Anahata Chakra

The area of the heart (Anahata) can be challenging for solarised masculine men to open, express healthily and still remain in yang or solar energy. This chakra is part of the mental body and can be challenging to arouse. To activate this area of expression and being, it is essential we have activated the receptive side of our being.

Learn to say NO

…and at times YES… To really say no is one of the most challenging practices.

How often do you honor your no for the sake of your own needs and not be attached to what others may think of you or how they may react? In my life I have largely oscillated between either keeping completely quiet and withdrawing when I want to vocalize my truth or if I do express its in an extreme manner.

To Feel Without Judgment

How do we feel? When feeling becomes so painful, so raw, so intense, so deep, how do we surrender or be present to these feelings?

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