Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

That Gentle Touch

What an incredible feeling to hold the life force and essence of another in the palm of our hands. Men… that touch, that cradling of our beloved’s head in the palm of our hands. To be present to that level of trust and surrender is a beautiful gift. One that can leave us determined to be grander versions of ourselves.

But how do we gain the confidence and the presence to be open to such an honour. To learn deeply, grow profoundly and immerse intensely in such a gift that is the trust and opening of another to us…? What an amazing opportunity to grow through the holding of another’s heart. To hold their heart in our hands – their history, their joys, their pains, their suffering, their triumphs, their pride and the fears.

Literally in our hands. The power of deliberate touch. The transmutative and transformative power of physically holding another closely – wow… What an opportunity to shift internally what ails us also. This inner softness captured in the palm of our hands as we become deeper and deeper captivated by the gaze and surrendering of our beloved…

What does this mean to be honoured and trusted in such a way. Can this surrendering be viewed as pressure, as pain, as too much responsibility? Can some of us as men shy away from this surrendered intimacy and not know consciously why? Yes, we can. I was once one of these men, who yearned to hold dearly and sincerely, authentically and openly this gentleness, this trust, but could not…

It is not until we delve deep within who we congruently are – the fullness of our shadow self, inclusive of all the experiences that we have accumulated – unseen and seen parts of self that we may be able to then contain the beauty, wonder and sweetness of surrender the handing over what matters to most.

Love as it presents itself in vulnerable exchange is all we truly have in this world. It is what otherwise lights our darkened path when we are deeply distressed, disorientated or confused. The only way to truly appreciate, revere and be humble to this exchange is to know our own being. To have taken our own minds and hearts to our ‘edge’. To explore the unknown and equilibrate our pain points…

When we do this and choose to embody this wholly, we can listen with our hearts openly and we can feel the truth profoundly. Then and only then, we can feel the full touch of our beloved. We can hold them in our hands knowing we are capable of weathering any storm that may arise, in fact we can grow together, bond and bind our paths in the most loving way.

Now, this requires intention, attention, effort and the moving through of great challenge, but the reward is reprieve, immersion in to truth and a life worthy of embodiment. It is here, that this holding becomes powerfully clear. This holding now becomes energising, transformative, inspiring, heart opening and revelatory…

Men, holding your beloved – in all of their vulnerability, surrender, trust, connection, openness, heart and soul is an honour bestowed upon us. We, therefore must choose to ‘do the work’ within and shift the limitations, clutter and patterns that hinder us from traversing depth, the mystery and the eternal truth of ‘sacred merging’ through embodied union.

Yes, we are ready…

One is always glad to be of service. S.Sifandos.


Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

What Women Truly Desire From Their Men

This list is a guide as to how we as men can show up with greater presence, truth and awareness in relationship to self and others. Relationship can ask us to be the best versions of self.

Will you adhere to the call? We all have needs and desires. There have been times in my life that I have wanted more from others, however in reality I was really wanting more from myself.

There Is Only Love

In a world where injustice has become an arbitrary term and deep, disconnected fear of connection, the ability to be authentic in lieu of being harshly judged and relational pain fills our lungs like an awful stench all we truly have is the embodiment…

The Flame Of True Desire Is Love In Motion

There is nothing wrong with desiring. It’s more HOW we desire that really affects our sense of self and the quality of our relationships. Desiring allows us to pursue, stop and embody, feel, think, perceive, dream and move through the world.

To Ravage and Ravish

See beyond man and woman for a moment.

You want to ravage and ravish the feminine in your life… Then be safety, be heart-centered presence, be consistent, be that container you are meant to be.

For the feminine to open herself up, to flower to you, to show herself fully the masculine must meet her where she is. The masculine must learn to lead that dance.

The Debilitating & Controlling Nature Of Fear

I find it so deeply sad that fear controls our lives, that fear limits us from experiencing wonder, joy, expansion, opportunity and deep love. Love itself is a multidimensional, multilayered and multifaceted experiential state…

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