Focus on your core essence of masculinity. Strengthen your healthy masculine expression and posture. Do this and your feminine expression will reveal itself as required when relevant.

This can be a sensitive subject… Women and men are different – culturally, biologically, hormonally. We also share so many similarities in terms of the full spectrum of the human experience. We are more the same than we are different, however, we need to celebrate both and also account for the difference.

There is at times a great pressure in our society to conform. For men, it can be confusing. Lately, many of us in the western paradigm are told to tap into more feminine expressions and posturing.

But what does this mean? Men want to relate to women and be near women and are not sure how to. They are also moving through grief, guilt, shame, regret and forgiveness of self and of the collective. This is not a pity party. This is us taking a look at how can we connect and be attractive to each other in healthy ways AND grow in unison.

Many women or prominent cultural discourse may want men to be in a place where they can give themselves fully. The mistake we often make in relatability is we seek and “over-value” familiarity because it feels really safe. There has been and still is inequity and oppression, so it makes sense that there is a swing in how we see each other. However, extreme expression in this realm of gender dynamics may desensitize our polarities and we lose attraction and magnetism.

Polarity and difference attract and keeps us interested and it compliments who we are. Sameness creates circles of safety and inclusion but we cannot all be the same. Equity is what we are really after, not equality…

Too much sameness and similarity weaken our bonds and if there is no polarity there is no pull towards each other. We think that if we make men more “feminine” OR more like women they will be able to connect and understand women more and vice versa. Not necessarily the case.

We lose our ability to relate if we don’t allow ourselves to be ourselves. This means honouring our biology, culture, history, and evolution and much more. 

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author