— Please read through with an openness of heart and mind —

“We are all one in the same, intricately connected through the magic that is the undying, infinite and magnificent cosmos…”

A lifetime Of Feeling

It has taken me almost the entirety of my life and all that I am and have been to realise the immense gravitational pull and necessity of the truth, beauty and authentic nature that is the nurturing, caring and substantiating feminine. I feel I am finally here in this ever evolving and expansive space. Not claiming to ‘know it all’, as we are in constant growth, but rather have raised my ‘minimum connection’ and standard of understanding to this beautiful state to a point where I can give fully and receive openly the essence of the feminine in the most integral and congruent way possible…

For too long in my life, I have take for granted the prowess and wonderment of the feminine. Not fully embracing its role, its presence and its gift to humanity, Earth and the masculine. The purpose of these writings is to make aware the masculine in all of us and the men in this world of the immense value of the immensely beautiful feminine.

Of course, in doing so we simultaneously recognise the immense gift that is the masculine. Essentially, both the masculine and the feminine are two sides of the same coin. They are simply expressive states and posturing’s of the same eternal being. You, us, we…

We Are Lost Without The Feminine

Without the caring, sensitive, endearing and deeply devoted nature of the feminine we as men are lost, we as men are not held to explore, to hold intentional space and be present to the turbulence that is at times life. We, as men are supported by the delicate and intuitive essence of the feminine, it is the feminine that seeks safety and stability, security and presence; but it is the posturing and nature of the feminine that allows the masculine to be all of this and more. We often take for granted this gift and immense transformational power. It is the masculine that feels safe in the nurturing arms of the feminine that ‘he’ can be the fullness of himself and step boldly in to his directional and stable power.

We (men) often allow it (the beauty of the feminine) to slip through our grasp, not understanding it, fearing it and therefore not being able to assimilate and embrace its potency and eternal truth. In my life, I have respected this posturing (to some superficial degree), but never understood it, validated it nor valued it fully.

How Men Live

Being men – cognitively and intellectually understanding life is something that is dominant in our being and it is something we place high on our hierarchy of values. For me personally, not being able to fully understand certain components of life (namely the intuitive guidance of the feminine) coupled with a once rigid mindset allowed me to quickly dispose of the intrinsic and precious value that the feminine brings to life and our existence.

Now, before I continue, I wish to make it clear that I am not only referring to men and women here ‘separate’ from each other but also referring to the feminine and masculine within each of us. We use the language of the feminine and the masculine to connect to, but the reality is there is an embodied wholeness that exists with prowess amongst all of us and we must tap extensively in to this in order to flourish magnificently, magically and authentically. Further to this, how we choose to hold ourselves accountable for these states of being. Whether we choose to recognise these within ourselves will determine the efficacy by which we recognise this in others and the quality of our interaction with others.

Deny Ourselves & We Deny The World

And here it is… Deny an aspect of life within yourself and you deny that within others. That can kill the flame of desire, of will, of love and of openness within the other and within self. Every moment we deny the beauty and true expression of another, we are slowly diminishing their flame of eternal life force. Love is powerful and we must choose to move towards knowing self beautifully and as full as possible in order to connect to the wholeness of who we are and who others are.

If we deny ourselves of love, if we deny ourselves of knowing the precious feminine, as men we are denying the women in our lives to be the grandest and most expressive versions of themselves. We are denying their giving nature. Ultimately we are ‘losing’ and the more we deny the other with our own reconcilable fears, ignorance or conditioning the more we distance feeling and experiencing great love from our lives.

When we ignore the natural giving nature of the feminine and do not allow her to flourish, express and simply be, we are limiting our capacity to connect wholly. I only personally learned to be more attentive, to nurture and support the feminine in expression very recently and even then when I reflect deeply, I did not hold the feminine with the deep level of intention and awareness that was truly needed. I chose not to extend myself with greater reverence for my needs and the needs of the other.

I went the ‘minimum distance’ and due to habitual conditioning chose not to delve deeper in to the purity of expressive love and soulful connection. As men, we at times become fearful of the unfamiliar and in succumbing to these fear patterns we deny ourselves of deep, heart opening and spiritual connection.

The Unraveling Of Self

As we unpack layers of ourselves, we reveal more of ourselves to the world. It is through this revealing that we begin to connect to what is real. Often, without a deconstruction of self (which can be experienced as deep-seated pain), we learn very little of our potential.

Evolutionarily speaking (socially, spiritually, emotionally and psychologically) and from the perspective of our current collective growth the space that we occupy requires us to experience varied forms of pain in order to transform deeply and profoundly. We often require painful experiences to shift our being. This deep pain and challenge translates to growth and openness. It is not required to perpetually experience pain, but this extreme if felt intentionally, fully and openly grants us tremendous insight in to the fullness of our being.

In the grand scheme of life, all is as it needs to be – especially if we move with clarity of intention, integrity and authentic truth. After all, we do not know, what we do not know. So as we grow, and if we choose to collect the teachings of these growth experiences we learn more about our being and our potential. This then places us in a position to actualise this potential.

Connecting To Self – The Most Intimate Relationship

There are times however that through our intention to learn we revert to old habits, we lose ourselves in the transition and we hurt both those we love and ourselves. It is here that I request that all of us remain patient. If we are truly connected to our truth and devoted to our own discovery of self, whilst wanting to be of service to those we love dearly we must remain open, endearing and loving of self and others during this challenging, yet revealing process.

With reference to intimate relationship – this is an area that challenges us profoundly and perhaps we can grow most from this area of life. Being completely honest and owning my actions, my own personal experiences have demonstrated recklessness around the feminine, not fully embracing, nor deeply respecting her expressive power and innate ability to give. I did not appreciate this force with enough clarity. I did not know and for this I am deeply sad.

Yes, I have learned immensely along the way and yes I have both gained immense wisdom and lost deep love along the way. If growth in every area or facet of our being is one of the grandest meaning’s of what it means to be alive, to feel, to be conscious and to breathe then I am growing and experiencing the entire spectrum of our existence. And it is this experiencing of the fullness of who we are that allows us to grow with depth and a profoundness of being…

But Who, What, How, When & Why Now?

The choices I consciously make now based on the broad and varied experiences I have had are far more inclusive, connected and deeply mindful of the beautiful nature of the feminine. I feel blessed to be able to do so. My mind and my heart are open, willing and in divine service to that of the feminine. My masculine is still intact – stronger than ever, healthy, focused, directed, present and willing. Holding in reverence with such greater awareness the necessity of the feminine, but beyond that the intrinsic value of the feminine. And I am able to be that and hold that because I not only recognise the power of the feminine but am inspired by it.

As men and as co-leaders of our community we must embrace the constructive and supportive – life giving force that is the feminine. Doing so expands our view of the world, each other and ourselves. There is no need to learn the ‘hard way’ – through continuous pain, rejection, confusion, doubt and fear. We have a choice to be conscious of our ability to connect and break mainstream norms of how men should behave. We can consciously choose to treat the feminine with complete acknowledgement and reverence. Doing so actively liberates us from fear, feeling stifled and weak in giving and openly receiving in equanimity.

In service now and always.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author