Repressing Longings Hurts Others

When we repress our deep longings, we hurt others.

Importantly, we hurt and deny ourselves of pleasure and joy. When we do this, we limit our expression and the quality of relationships we can receive in our lives.

I remember being embarrassed and fearful of speaking my needs, whether it be in sexual intimacy or setting boundaries with respect to how I wanted to be treated and communicated with.

I grew up in a volatile and violent environment, communicating my needs become difficult and painful. It was easier to not be seen and be as silent as possible.

As a teenager, I outlasted in to the world and became what I experienced during my formative years. The pain, frustration and struggle of not being seen took its toll.

I lost so much of myself because I (like so many of us) was in deep protective mode. Something had to give…

I began to look at how when I withdrew from the world OR lashed out to the world (both extremes) would hurt others.

What I discovered was that not being me, not communicating my truth and not living authentically to my desires hurt others, as they never saw the real me. They couldn’t benefit from what I had to actually offer.

Shameful or fearful of rejection or humiliation (what is a major pain point for most men) I hid from the world – one way or the other. There had to be another way… There was, there is.

I am here to tell you, denying yourself of your needs, denies others of what they need and that is YOU showing up in your fullest. There are subtle energies that run between us at a psychic and emotional level.

We don’t necessarily understand this fully and its an unconscious communication between bodies, brain and the integrated intuition that tells us whether a person is safe. You know that feeling in your stomach warning you about something?

That is our unconscious selves communicating to us. You seem when you are masking yourself, others (at some level or another) know this. They then pull away. Something doesn’t feel in integrity or real.

This causes others to move away and not only do we lose that intimate connection, they never get to know the real you. You never even really have the chance to impact those you care about at a deep level.

Practice speaking your truth from an open place of selfless consideration. This ensures you become competent at meeting your needs, whilst being present to the needs of others. I call this ‘Selfish Selflessness’ (that is a story for another time).

For now, the world needs (NO, DEMANDS) you as you are…

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Tapping Into Your Feminine Expression

Focus on your core essence of masculinity. Strengthen your healthy masculine expression and posture. Do this and your feminine expression will reveal itself as required when relevant.
This can be a sensitive subject… Women and men are different – culturally, biologically, hormonally. We also share so many similarities in terms of the full spectrum of the human experience. We are more the same than we are different, however, we need to celebrate both and also account for the difference.

Home in Retrospect

It has been really difficult being back here “home”… What is home? It has changed for me so much. The last few years have been turbulent, revealing, painful, healing and empowering. Being back in this place has disorientated me in many ways.
Yes, it has been nurturing to my soul, my dear friends, blessed life long connections, family and loved ones, yet I feel displaced. Have you ever been somewhere that felt so familiar, yet you feel you didn’t belong anymore? I am here.

The Unrivaled Essence Of Man

What we often forget amongst rhetoric and discourse that is harmful towards the positive attributes of man is that we are in a time and space of immense transformation.

We have entered a period of relating where man and woman are uniting under the banner of sentience. Under the perspective of connectedness, wholeness and unification.

What Women Truly Desire From Their Men

This list is a guide as to how we as men can show up with greater presence, truth and awareness in relationship to self and others. Relationship can ask us to be the best versions of self.

Will you adhere to the call? We all have needs and desires. There have been times in my life that I have wanted more from others, however in reality I was really wanting more from myself.

The Importance of Sacred Sexuality

Sexuality IS sacred. It allows us to know ourselves through the other. We seek to experience true lasting joy more than we do “pleasure”. Pleasure is easily accessible, a quick fix, short-term gratification that distracts.

Share This