Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

On Being Safe

Perhaps there is nothing more beautifully profound and magical then knowing with all that you are that you are safe for those who are in your lives, particularly your beloved. That you will hold them through the chaos, the internal raging sea of volatility that we all experience as we grow, change and transmute ourselves at various points in our lives.

If you can be safe during these period through trusting and un-wavering certainty you are not only giving a gift of purity and life to another – you are deeply evolving yourself with great strength and connection.

One feeling that no being should consistently, repeatedly and regularly feel from their beloved is insecurity, a lack of safety and feelings of untrustworthy in the relationship. We enter sacred union to grow, to become more empowered versions of ourselves. Not so much because of how the other shows up specifically (although this matters of course), but rather how we choose to respond to intimacy.

In this responsiveness, we have a choice to be stable and safe, to be a beacon of wisdom and trust or to be uncertain, undefinable and erratic by our expression. Of course, there is a middle ground and that is where we take elements of both and be that in the relationship. However, this posture also leads to at times intense discomfort through the experience of erratic and volatile uncertainty.

To be safe for another is a blessing, a gift and an opportunity to expand and reach the far chasms of the unchartered and unexplored layered self. To be connected to the certainty of who one is with such clarity and wisdom shines a bright light on what is at times quite dark, hazy, scary and painful. To assist another to move through their personal pain and fear whilst you are a lighthouse shining the way is an honour and something to be revered.

In fact, as human beings it is our duty to see beyond our own pain and be present and safe for others. We are relational, connect beings – neurally, emotionally, psychologically and biologically. How do we do this, embody this? By ‘working’ on our own shadows, equilibrating our pain, our past and our trauma. To be at peace with who we have been, what we are and where we have come from. Importantly, to respect and be in deep connection to who we are becoming with the conscious choices we make in the present.

The dream world is an interesting place. A place of magic, deep revealing and empowered insight in to the workings of our minds and relationships. Jungian dream theory states that dreams reveal more than they conceal. They are a natural expression of our imagination and use the most straightforward language at our disposal: mythic narratives. Dreams are doing the work of integrating our conscious and unconscious lives; he called this the process of individuation.

In our dreams we may allow ourselves to be this strength, this connection, this safe place. We can practice in our dreams, get deeply connected to what we desire and who we wish to be for ourselves and for others. Look at dreams as our playground and practice ground for expression in the physical realm.

To be safe, is to be whole. To be whole is to live openly and gesture grandly in this life. To be whole involves brain integration, psychological equilibration, emotional literacy and relational harmony to co-exist peacefully within your world. To be safe is to call in your one accurately, lovingly and authentically – it is to call in your greatest love, which begins with the acknowledgement of that whole love within you. From here, it branches out towards the far reaches of all that is and ever will be.

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
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Men – Healthy Pursuit

In our culture, in our society (men in particular) can often be ostracized for single minded and tenacious pursuit. When we engage or embody any expressive state in an imbalanced, non-harmonious and polarized manner over time we become almost toxic in our posture…

Focus On The “NOW”

Stop reminiscing about and being attached to the pain and fear of the past, so that you may justify and validate the circumstances of you NOW.

We are so attached to what is familiar that we are unwilling to let go of what no longer serves us I order to preserve an ideology or way of being that feels safe because we have know it all of our lives.

Step Into The Light

I spent most of my life living in the dark. Either pretending I had no shadow or only wanting to focus on my “good side”. And even now, when feeling extreme pressure or convenient I revert to that place. Whether it is a new year, decade, month or day. I am making a choice right here and right now. That choice is to stop polarizing and start embracing all of me, not just the convenient parts.

When Someone Tells You That You Can’t, What They’re Really Saying Is They Can’t

Don’t get caught up in the ignorance and insecurities of others. So often, we are stuck in our own pains and fears and we project this outwardly.

When those in your life display jealousy, ‘put downs’, relentless and thoughtless doubt, nay-saying, antagonistic behavior and looking for and identifying the worst in all that you are and do, it is linked intimately to their own sense of self.

Man – Starter Of Worlds

Man as an intellectual and spiritual beast is the sovereign creator of his reality. A man pursuing strength over weakness is aware of his ability to create and mold the world he lives in.

Meaning, the affirming of oneself and our own worth is an inside job. This notion of intimate and sovereign self-reliance is the back bone of the contemporary man. The new man must also acquaint himself with a trusted brethren.

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