Our Need For Approval

Your need for approval stems from your fear of rejection. Unconsciously seeking the need to be liked or loved by another and experiencing that approval means that you are not in a state of unworthiness, humiliation, “less than” or abandonment and this feels safer than the constant pursuit of someone else’s opinion defining you.
If we don’t have the approval of others we feel threatened and then choose to behave in accordance with this threat. We become desperate, needy, fearful, or even project our insecurities upon others by placing high expectations of how they show up in our relationship.

Unconsciously, you may backtrack if your opinion differs from there, you may be overly apologetic, you may minimize your needs and ensure that the other is taken care of at your expense or you may wear masks and be false, pretending to like something and being over agreeable when the truth is that perspective does not resonate with you at all…

You may speak nonsense our nervousness into brief moments of silence to appear important or compromise your values in order to get a smile or a sense of approval from someone.

The painful and ironic truth is that this desperate and unconscious need to be validated by others is exactly what is repelling others from you, which is keeping you in this unresolved wounded cycle of low-self-worth.

Here is something that can assist in breaking this cycle. At that moment go to your body. Your body is telling you what is really happening. That racing heart, that heaviness in your gut. NOW pause there, breathe long slow breaths, and ask yourself… “What approval from this person am I truly seeking and what am I most afraid of?” Make it more about you here in a healthy way and then ask… “What would the future healthy me do here and now?”

One is glad to be of service.



Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



A Fierce Kind Of Love

We cannot expect others to fill our voids. If we are not connected to who we ultimately (in an ever-evolving way) are we are ‘losing’. Love with ‘others’ may only flourish when we at least recognise the love within ourselves, when we realise we are our own source of brilliance, power, flowing love and divinity.

We All Have Stories

We all have stories… We all have a past. Most of our pasts are less lopsided than we think.

Amidst the chaos, confusion and the volatility exists a place where there is at the least; some peace. My past and childhood at large weren’t pretty… Many of us share similar pasts.

There Is Great Depth and Presence In Man

It exists.

It is there.

It is presence, it is stillness.

It is beyond the superficial and it is beyond the stigma.

You Are Enough

I spent so much of my life in hiding. Hiding from my fears, my anger, my insecurities, my pain, my past. I spent my life hating on myself, filling my mind with the lies I was not enough and not worthy.

You know the dialogue… “Not smart enough, not strong enough, not popular enough, not wealthy enough, just not enough. I covered the not ‘enoughness’ with either retraction or aggression.d

The Tragedy Of Not Sacrificing

Sacrificing or ‘to sacrifice’ often receives a ‘bad wrap’. Why even sacrifice what we value? Perhaps the experience is not worthy of our immersion and embodiment, our attention and energy? Why place ourselves in a position where we may perceive ourselves to be ‘losing’…?


Complete this assessment to uncover the exact blocks preventing you from attracting and experiencing the love and intimacy you truly desire

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