Our Need For Approval

Your need for approval stems from your fear of rejection. Unconsciously seeking the need to be liked or loved by another and experiencing that approval means that you are not in a state of unworthiness, humiliation, “less than” or abandonment and this feels safer than the constant pursuit of someone else’s opinion defining you.
If we don’t have the approval of others we feel threatened and then choose to behave in accordance with this threat. We become desperate, needy, fearful, or even project our insecurities upon others by placing high expectations of how they show up in our relationship.

Unconsciously, you may backtrack if your opinion differs from there, you may be overly apologetic, you may minimize your needs and ensure that the other is taken care of at your expense or you may wear masks and be false, pretending to like something and being over agreeable when the truth is that perspective does not resonate with you at all…

You may speak nonsense our nervousness into brief moments of silence to appear important or compromise your values in order to get a smile or a sense of approval from someone.

The painful and ironic truth is that this desperate and unconscious need to be validated by others is exactly what is repelling others from you, which is keeping you in this unresolved wounded cycle of low-self-worth.

Here is something that can assist in breaking this cycle. At that moment go to your body. Your body is telling you what is really happening. That racing heart, that heaviness in your gut. NOW pause there, breathe long slow breaths, and ask yourself… “What approval from this person am I truly seeking and what am I most afraid of?” Make it more about you here in a healthy way and then ask… “What would the future healthy me do here and now?”

One is glad to be of service.

https://unsplash.com/@joshuaearle

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

[fbcomments]

KEEP READING

Shadow Sexual Desire

We all have sex. Most of us adore sex. Most of us crave it, yet many of us do not know what we truly want when it comes to our sexual desires or fantasies. Our sexual fantasies often remain in the imagination because we are too fearful to explore the meaning of them.

The Perpetual Taking

To take consciously is to give abundantly…

For a man to be adored by his woman means the cosmos to him. For a man to be loved, sincerely cared, seen and nurtured allows him to burst in to thriving in to the universe – amplifying his power.

For a woman to be witnessed, served and known for who she is and the gifts she bares in to this world is liberating. For a man to support and hear his woman frees her expression wildly. For a man to be non-judgmental is opening for his woman.

Better OUT than IN

My beautiful grandmother would tell me to never hold farts in. In Italian, she would say often “Always out, never in.” I remember this distinctly, and then she would burp and I would laugh hysterically. She was the best! I then would run around farting and get excited to go to the toilet haha! I now often think about the real life implications of ‘out’.

The Yearning For The Sacred Touch

Take your time, don’t rush…

We yearn to move closer, yet we move too fast…

Our counterpart becomes stunned, like a fish out of water, not sure of where they are. We have moved with desperation and scarcity, not clarity and sincerity…

Rejection – A Different Perspective

Rejection is painful, it stops us in our tracks, paralyses us and pulls us into a vortex of lower self-worth. Rejection keeps us playing small in life, forgetting who we truly are, what we are capable of and what matters.

START WITH YOUR LOVE BLOCKS

Complete this assessment to uncover the exact blocks preventing you from attracting and experiencing the love and intimacy you truly desire

Share This