Secrets Are The Calluses Of The Heart

Secrets are like calluses upon our hearts. The more we keep, the more hardened we become…

I spent so many years hiding. Not trusting myself, doubting who I was, being so frustrated with the world and what I perceived to be a weakness that I lied about everything. I did not want to be seen as “weak”.

Pursuing validation and acceptance in all the “wrong ways”, I lost my path. I pretended to be someone I wasn’t to protect my fragile heart that felt broken. The lies compounded and I had to work harder to maintain the facade.

Aggression, fighting, abrasiveness, ensuring I “won the argument”. I was always right, self-righteous, arrogant, and as a result lonely, distant, and drowning in self-pity, self-loathing, and self-hatred…

You see, as a child, I felt I was never really seen, recognized, or heard. I had to fight to be accepted. As a result, I kept to myself, contorting my thoughts and actions to fit in, be liked, or not be beaten.

This worked for a while, but when I hit my teens, puberty, and confusion, I lashed out, hid from the world with false bravado, and developed a habit around “fitting in”, being cool and appeasing others, whilst ensuring I was perceived as strong.

My ideas around healthy masculinity and what it meant to be a man became distorted and I played that out in my intimate relationships. I pretended I hid, I justified my lies, infidelity, and anger and became more hardened and more lost.

I believed and carried this fear and burden like fucking Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders that if “softened” and allowed others in that I would lose my “strength”. I feared giving my heart because it had been crushed by those I loved so deeply as a child (my parents) and I couldn’t trust that heart to be kept safe.

Our past does not equal our future… Time to let that shit go…

Are you ready? 

One is glad to be of service.

Photo by lucas clarysse on Unsplash


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



The Resplendent Queen


For all of the women and the empowered, clear feminine within that have touched my life and impacted me… My queen, my muse – Christine, I love you and thank you for all that you are.

The vast women carrying so much depth, wisdom, reverence for men and clarified maturity who are entering my perception is humbling.

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We all yearn for connection, touch, understanding and a wanting to be seen. We often create barriers to this level of trusted connection due to certain traumatic or painful experiences we have had and the beliefs we have then formed around these experiences.

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You must know yourself, your worth, and what you offer. Get clear on your power and value. Live in your vision. Be in your purpose and choose to live that on a day to day basis. Don’t rely on another to “complete” you. You are whole, do your inner work so that you become very clear on that. You don’t “need” others to make you feel better. This energetic comes across as desperate and needy. Lead with an open and pure heart. Don’t be afraid of your honesty, what your needs are, and what you can offer. Present that with prowess.

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