Secrets Are The Calluses Of The Heart

Secrets are like calluses upon our hearts. The more we keep, the more hardened we become…

I spent so many years hiding. Not trusting myself, doubting who I was, being so frustrated with the world and what I perceived to be a weakness that I lied about everything. I did not want to be seen as “weak”.

Pursuing validation and acceptance in all the “wrong ways”, I lost my path. I pretended to be someone I wasn’t to protect my fragile heart that felt broken. The lies compounded and I had to work harder to maintain the facade.

Aggression, fighting, abrasiveness, ensuring I “won the argument”. I was always right, self-righteous, arrogant, and as a result lonely, distant, and drowning in self-pity, self-loathing, and self-hatred…

You see, as a child, I felt I was never really seen, recognized, or heard. I had to fight to be accepted. As a result, I kept to myself, contorting my thoughts and actions to fit in, be liked, or not be beaten.

This worked for a while, but when I hit my teens, puberty, and confusion, I lashed out, hid from the world with false bravado, and developed a habit around “fitting in”, being cool and appeasing others, whilst ensuring I was perceived as strong.

My ideas around healthy masculinity and what it meant to be a man became distorted and I played that out in my intimate relationships. I pretended I hid, I justified my lies, infidelity, and anger and became more hardened and more lost.

I believed and carried this fear and burden like fucking Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders that if “softened” and allowed others in that I would lose my “strength”. I feared giving my heart because it had been crushed by those I loved so deeply as a child (my parents) and I couldn’t trust that heart to be kept safe.

Our past does not equal our future… Time to let that shit go…

Are you ready? 

One is glad to be of service.

Photo by lucas clarysse on Unsplash


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Our Untapped Power

“See before you can see”.

There is so much that we don’t ‘see’ with our eyes. Whilst our eyes play such an important role in directing the course of our lives reality, ‘there is more to us than meets the eye’…

We are intuitive beings connected to our environment. Multidimensional, multifaceted and multi learning beings.

The Place Beyond Knowing

There is a place – a space that occupies the sub structures of our minds that resides beyond the conscious self.

This place is what we do not know, what we are not aware of and what is not familiar.

It is here in this place where there is so much that we know, yet are unaware of. Here, there is a story being constructed that we are architecting, it has no idea.

Sexual Expression

It’s not always about ejaculation.
Experiencing sexual trauma can place us in a position where we are mistrusting, feel hurt, hold back and are shy and reluctant to open our hearts. This trauma shuts us out and down, yet at the same time, we have a yearning to be seen, to experience closeness and intimacy. This happens to both men and women and both the masculine and feminine.

The Wounded Feminine

This energy resides within all of us. Today let’s speak to the wounded feminine within a woman’s body. When a woman is in her wounded or shadow feminine, she is suffering.
This suffering is projected into the world as low self-worth. Nearly every action comes from a place of deficit, feeling not enough and needing to be seen and validated in unhealthy ways, a woman will compromise her values, integrity and commitments to self.

Our Need For Approval

Your need for approval stems from your fear of rejection. Unconsciously seeking the need to be liked or loved by another and experiencing that approval means that you are not in a state of unworthiness, humiliation, “less than” or abandonment and this feels safer than the constant pursuit of someone else’s opinion defining you.


Complete this assessment to uncover the exact blocks preventing you from attracting and experiencing the love and intimacy you truly desire

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