Healthy Intimacy Vs. Unhealthy Intimacy

Naturally trusting

Close and open sharing

Freedom in expression

Liberated heart


Fluid and free

Grounded in inspiration

Confident and assured vs Codependent Forced closeness

Wearing masks

Protected and shut down

Rigid – can only be one way

Rigid and structured

Fear of loss driven

Scarcity based

We all yearn for connection, touch, understanding and a wanting to be seen. We often create barriers to this level of trusted connection due to certain traumatic or painful experiences we have had and the beliefs we have then formed around these experiences.

In other words, what we have made them mean and our attachment in identity to them. To bridge this gap we must explore the unseen, move through our stuff, embrace it, acknowledge it and release, forgive and cease to suppress it.

This requires patience, a deliberate approach and an open heart. To move away from the old patterns of relating that have kept us safe when we were young but no longer serve us now requires effort.

I shut people out in the past as I was afraid of getting hurt because this was one of the stories I thought was true – let people in and that affection will be quickly taken away. I wanted them close yet was too scared to let them in. This caused confusion, volatility (replicating my childhood) and immature masculine expression.

I had enough of the tug of war and you can too… You can begin to stop coming from conditioned and reactive places and begin to live from more open and ready places if you wish. The choice is yours. What will you choose?

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



The Familiar Body

We may try, but to explain is futile. We may try, but the only path to take is that of embodiment and immersion…

There is the body that is so familiar that our glands swell, our mind races, our vision blurs, our blood flow increases and our heart rate accelerates.

Integrated ‘Guilt-Free’ Happiness

We at times deny ourselves of happiness – do we deserve it, does it belong in our realm of consciousness, guilt arises tapping in to the collective, we feel bad because those we love do not feel happiness and more reasons why feeling joy is ‘wrong’.

How can we truly be happy with who we are? How can we truly be happy without guilt? The insight in to this is quite simple…

A Healthy And Embodied Masculine Man

Your ability to be a HEALTHY and embodied masculine man will be dependent on how RESILIENT and TOUGH you are WILLING to be.

Let’s just speak to two expressions or components for healthy masculinity. Sure, there are many – presence, compassion, confidence, clarity, honesty, truth, openness, vulnerability, decisiveness, introspective, magnetic, robust, adaptability, expansive, singular and so much more.

Why Others May Be “Mean” To You

There are no excuses for someone mistreating you, however, there are reasons. Understanding these possible reasons bridges the gap between response and reaction (and reaction often damages relationships). This understanding provides us with two important access points to greater consciousness and relationships.

Men Will Only Play If They Think They Can Win

Why do men hate to lose and why do we live and love to win? On the surface it may appear to be a volatile feeding frenzy and this may be so. Men fight to be dominate, to be number and to be on top. And we also take in to account what is best for our group at that time. We ultimate hate being conquered and find it humiliating when we are – this ethos applies to both the individual self and the primary group by which we find ourselves a part of.

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