Healthy Intimacy Vs. Unhealthy Intimacy

Naturally trusting

Close and open sharing

Freedom in expression

Liberated heart


Fluid and free

Grounded in inspiration

Confident and assured vs Codependent Forced closeness

Wearing masks

Protected and shut down

Rigid – can only be one way

Rigid and structured

Fear of loss driven

Scarcity based

We all yearn for connection, touch, understanding and a wanting to be seen. We often create barriers to this level of trusted connection due to certain traumatic or painful experiences we have had and the beliefs we have then formed around these experiences.

In other words, what we have made them mean and our attachment in identity to them. To bridge this gap we must explore the unseen, move through our stuff, embrace it, acknowledge it and release, forgive and cease to suppress it.

This requires patience, a deliberate approach and an open heart. To move away from the old patterns of relating that have kept us safe when we were young but no longer serve us now requires effort.

I shut people out in the past as I was afraid of getting hurt because this was one of the stories I thought was true – let people in and that affection will be quickly taken away. I wanted them close yet was too scared to let them in. This caused confusion, volatility (replicating my childhood) and immature masculine expression.

I had enough of the tug of war and you can too… You can begin to stop coming from conditioned and reactive places and begin to live from more open and ready places if you wish. The choice is yours. What will you choose?

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



We All Have Stories

We all have stories… We all have a past. Most of our pasts are less lopsided than we think.

Amidst the chaos, confusion and the volatility exists a place where there is at the least; some peace. My past and childhood at large weren’t pretty… Many of us share similar pasts.

The Approval Of The Father

Ah that fleeting moment when Dad approves you with his warm smile… And then, gone… There is great dignity and reverence in feeling the warmth, the solidarity and the support of the sacred father or grandfather energy. I recall often as a child yearning for the approval and the support of my father. Dearly wanting his wisdom imparted, the gentleness of his hand to guide me through life as I at times felt like I was catapulting through the cosmos.

The Conscious Warriors Guide To Living A Life Of Purpose

The conscious warrior is the artist of his/her life. When we speak to purpose we often refer to living a life of clarity, direction and wisdom. We often observe those who live in or on purpose as individuals that were born with this innate gift of…

Are You Afraid Of Being Alone?

How much time do you spend with yourself? We are so drowned out by the millions of voices, the busyness, the clutter, the bombardment of ‘do this’, ‘buy that’ and ‘be this’, that we have forgotten our true nature.

The Real You

We want others to believe in us. We want to feel needed and be seen. We want others to understand us and love us for who we are, yet we seldom show our ‘true colours’.

We want the world and are often simply delivered an atlas. We do a great job of blaming and shaming the world around us for this and not getting out way.

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