Healthy Intimacy Vs. Unhealthy Intimacy

Naturally trusting

Close and open sharing

Freedom in expression

Liberated heart

Adaptable

Fluid and free

Grounded in inspiration

Confident and assured vs Codependent Forced closeness

Wearing masks

Protected and shut down

Rigid – can only be one way

Rigid and structured

Fear of loss driven

Scarcity based

We all yearn for connection, touch, understanding and a wanting to be seen. We often create barriers to this level of trusted connection due to certain traumatic or painful experiences we have had and the beliefs we have then formed around these experiences.

In other words, what we have made them mean and our attachment in identity to them. To bridge this gap we must explore the unseen, move through our stuff, embrace it, acknowledge it and release, forgive and cease to suppress it.

This requires patience, a deliberate approach and an open heart. To move away from the old patterns of relating that have kept us safe when we were young but no longer serve us now requires effort.

I shut people out in the past as I was afraid of getting hurt because this was one of the stories I thought was true – let people in and that affection will be quickly taken away. I wanted them close yet was too scared to let them in. This caused confusion, volatility (replicating my childhood) and immature masculine expression.

I had enough of the tug of war and you can too… You can begin to stop coming from conditioned and reactive places and begin to live from more open and ready places if you wish. The choice is yours. What will you choose?

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

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