Junk or Connected Sex?

Do you numb yourself during sex? Is your sex “junk sex” or connected sex? Are you liberated during sex or do you feel restricted in your expression?

Junk sex is surface level. More often than not (not always) junk sex is the human soul in denial, avoidance and suppression. We seek deep connection and intimacy and somewhere in our minds we have come to the conclusion that it can be attained with copious amounts of physical sex only.

This sex is not grounded in a merging of or union with oneself. There is no deeper context of vulnerability, open- heartedness, emotional dialogue and presence. It is about completion, the attainment of a goal. The goal being orgasm.

There is no reconciliation of two beings coming together in a Union that is them and also beyond them. This sex is devoid of depth, history, trials, tribulations, triumphs and healing of each others wounds through choosing to focus on our own.

Junk sex distances us and leaves us wanting more of what we think is giving us connection but is really creating more distance in what matters to us – being seeing in freedom.

Sacred sex requires all forms of readiness, awareness, openness, timing, truthful communication and such presence and willingness. When we create and make love we move beyond superficial avoidance and in to potent possibility. Sacred sex requires ritual and care, it is outside the realm of the ordinary and it requires time for us to “arrive”.

Creating love and romance is bringing a wild and open heart to a willing and erotic body. I am not saying lust plays no role in gratifying, joyful or happy sex, it simply just isn’t the only thing going on.

“Good sex” celebrates all that you have shared, risked, won and accomplished together and separately. Real sex involves deep trust. When the people involved experience history together and profound challenge they mature in Union. Only those who are deeply mature can deeply love.

The sexually awakened individual slows sex down. The sexually unawakened are looking for their next hit, they rush and are all about streamlined sexual gratification without integration. 

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



The Familiar Body

We may try, but to explain is futile. We may try, but the only path to take is that of embodiment and immersion…

There is the body that is so familiar that our glands swell, our mind races, our vision blurs, our blood flow increases and our heart rate accelerates.

To Feel Without Judgment

How do we feel? When feeling becomes so painful, so raw, so intense, so deep, how do we surrender or be present to these feelings?

Masculine Masks

Let’s explore wearing masculine masks 🎭 We generally will wear energetic masks contrary to our core essence when we feel threatened, unsafe or not fitting in. This may come from a place of being told that “we live in a man’s world”, and that is prioritized or the antithesis; that “men are useless”, so perhaps a woman steps into deeper masculine energy that isn’t really authentic to her in order to get things done. As a result, also losing trust in the masculine and often men.

The Greatness Within

We are all intrinsically ‘good’. We are all born with ‘heart’. There is no conceivable way we are born to destroy. Destruction, death, ‘the perceived end’ is not a construct directed by us, but rather something organic that occurs as a natural extension of our existence. This enables us to be connected in a powerful way.

To Deprive Ourselves Of Touch Is To Deprive The World Of Circulating Love

To deprive ourselves of intimate connection is to remain shrouded in the veil we wear to protect from an invisible force that separates us.

To lose touch with touch is to scream to consciousness that we are not worthy.

To isolate ourselves from the wonder of visceral contact with another is to isolate ourselves from our humanity.

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