Do you numb yourself during sex? Is your sex “junk sex” or connected sex? Are you liberated during sex or do you feel restricted in your expression?

Junk sex is surface level. More often than not (not always) junk sex is the human soul in denial, avoidance and suppression. We seek deep connection and intimacy and somewhere in our minds we have come to the conclusion that it can be attained with copious amounts of physical sex only.

This sex is not grounded in a merging of or union with oneself. There is no deeper context of vulnerability, open- heartedness, emotional dialogue and presence. It is about completion, the attainment of a goal. The goal being orgasm.

There is no reconciliation of two beings coming together in a Union that is them and also beyond them. This sex is devoid of depth, history, trials, tribulations, triumphs and healing of each other‘s wounds through choosing to focus on our own.

Junk sex distances us and leaves us wanting more of what we think is giving us connection but is really creating more distance in what matters to us – being seeing in freedom.

Sacred sex requires all forms of readiness, awareness, openness, timing, truthful communication and such presence and willingness. When we create and make love we move beyond superficial avoidance and in to potent possibility. Sacred sex requires ritual and care, it is outside the realm of the ordinary and it requires time for us to “arrive”.

Creating love and romance is bringing a wild and open heart to a willing and erotic body. I am not saying lust plays no role in gratifying, joyful or happy sex, it simply just isn’t the only thing going on.

“Good sex” celebrates all that you have shared, risked, won and accomplished together and separately. Real sex involves deep trust. When the people involved experience history together and profound challenge they mature in Union. Only those who are deeply mature can deeply love.

The sexually awakened individual slows sex down. The sexually unawakened are looking for their next hit, they rush and are all about streamlined sexual gratification without integration. 

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author