“I truly wonder if I can capture what I am actually feeling and experiencing here – I shall attempt to…”

There is great power and tempo in death. Let us begin with the death of a loved one. The physical passing of those we are emotionally bonded to at a depth that supersedes our understanding of life itself.

As I gaze deeply at photos of my beloved grandparents, tears of joy and an appreciation like never before roll down my cheek… Why? Because I am connected, I am recognising their love at a level that is just different.

The vantage point is just different. Beautiful and revealing. I appreciated them immensely in life – and this was demonstrated by my actions and also inner state, but now as they have passed my perspective has transmuted. I feel so grateful. Words cannot express…

When those close to us pass this physical life, we are able to cultivate a level of appreciation for them at such depth that next levels our understanding of that dynamic. This is not to take away the pain and real emotion associated with loss, it is to simply allow a new perspective to dawn once we have sufficiently allowed for the necessary feeling states to transpire.

Similarly, for the death of an aspect of self, behaviour, state, way of being, or posture. When this occurs we become liberated from the old, non-attached and free to explore new vantage points that may enhance and evolve our lives and enrich our relationships to self, others and what once was.

This is not necessary a polarisation of the relationship or the individual. But rather a choice to now immerse in to their beauty with greater depth. Their absence creates a void and in this void, there is now space to create an unobstructed image of the one you care for and love.

Perhaps a more accurate reflection of who they were to you, how they impacted you and the person they were. We have the space to reflect and absorb their wonderment. Be with them in an eternal manner, free of clutter and external influence.

The gratitude we develop, the appreciation and the realisation is a gratitude that is difficult to be expressed and connected to in life. It is not because in life you were ungrateful, or consciously deemed your loved one, unworthy.

One the contrary, you cared deeply, but with out space, the level of care is minimised to an extent. Space now allows us to feel fuller. We can feel the fullness of that person. Our memory (although at times not always accurate neurologically) plays a critical role in recalling the beauty of that person and viewing it from a vantage point previously not possible.

When you gaze at photos of loved ones, brining up memories of past, how do you feel or relate to these images? The level of awareness you now may have has just shifted to a place within yourself that is now deeper aware, endearing and connected.

This is the power of death, transience, shift. Life is in constant flux. Be with this flux, accept death, life and all in between. Be with this. Feel the feelings as they arise and that feeling of profound gratitude is breath taking and life evolving for you. This is the gift your loved one gave you.

To my friends, loved ones and all fellow sentient beings, there is great wisdom and ‘gain’ in death. To those who have ‘lost’, yes, there is a transmutation of sorts. However, there is never really, truly loss. per se only an opportunity to delve in to the epicentre of expansion.

Where there is perceived loss, there is also gain. Be with that and allow yourself to feel the sadness, pain, anger, frustration, loss and void and all that comes with ‘death’. For it is here, on the horizon, beyond these initial feelings that a deep restful, peaceful and profound gratitude resides that will liberate and unlock your pain – providing you with a new sense of self.

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author