Trauma Recovery In Relationship

It can be tough. It often brings out the “worst” in us. We slip into patterns of unworthiness, self-blame, self-pity or even projected aggressiveness. Is it really the worst in us that is coming out or just old coping strategies that we are still using to deal with something that is extremely uncomfortable?

The answer is we are not bad and depending on how we have coped and dealt with trauma or difficulty in the past will inform how we deal with it in the present. Unless of course, we get clear on HOW we want to be with life.

If we carry unresolved and unconscious wounding then our inner child is hyper-protective and runs the show. Any sign of being hurt and the old protective strategies come out and we are being run by programs of the past. They worked then, we’re still alive, they must be applicable now also, right? Not necessarily. What worked then to keep us alive can hinder our growth now. Keeps us stuck in a cycle of survival and doesn’t have us growing into new versions of ourselves.

It’s these coping strategies that also keep us addicted to creating and attracting the same drama that we are familiar with so that our coping strategies can survive. Our psyche and body think that if we are expressing our protective strategies then we are safe and the only way to do that is to have a reason for them to be played out.

With awareness, we have the choice to tell ourselves we are safe and that we deserve a better life. Being kind and compassionate to ourselves after experiencing trauma is essential for our growth.

You need to see a version of yourself that doesn’t need to continue to attract drama because you are worth more!

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

[fbcomments]

KEEP READING

Close Your Eyes – Open Your Soul

Imagine moving close to the one that tantalises the sensation of alertness on your skin, but not too close.

Visualise your body making ever the slightest of contact on the body of your beloved for the first time, then immediately pulling away.

Feel your breath become more rapid with anticipation.

Man – Starter Of Worlds

Man as an intellectual and spiritual beast is the sovereign creator of his reality. A man pursuing strength over weakness is aware of his ability to create and mold the world he lives in.

Meaning, the affirming of oneself and our own worth is an inside job. This notion of intimate and sovereign self-reliance is the back bone of the contemporary man. The new man must also acquaint himself with a trusted brethren.

The Illusion of Awakening: Navigating a Divided World

In our quest for acceptance and belonging, we inadvertently perpetuate judgment and segregation. The world appears “woke,” yet it remains far from truly awakened. We are consumed with how we are perceived, and political correctness has spiraled out of control, while appeasement reigns supreme. But are we truly uniting in healthy ways, or merely succumbing to coercive measures?

Learn to say NO

…and at times YES… To really say no is one of the most challenging practices.

How often do you honor your no for the sake of your own needs and not be attached to what others may think of you or how they may react? In my life I have largely oscillated between either keeping completely quiet and withdrawing when I want to vocalize my truth or if I do express its in an extreme manner.

The Divinity Of Femininity

To honour the feminine is to honour the sacred dance of the slow, the sacred and the open.

To walk beside the feminine on this path of awakening means to be blessed by her grace and beauty.

To learn from each other is to teach each other. To lean in to each other and to SEE each other.

The still of the masculine meets the fluid movement of the feminine.

The depth of the masculine draws out the magnificent nature of the feminine – the sparkle, the beauty, the light.

START WITH YOUR LOVE BLOCKS

Complete this assessment to uncover the exact blocks preventing you from attracting and experiencing the love and intimacy you truly desire