The One Thing That Creates Connection, Depth, and Intimacy

A man of deepened nobility responds to the actual and relies on the real to shape his mind and heart. We often create stories about how our reality plays out. These stories we create are often based on old unprocessed and unknown fear and wounding. Fear of being rejected, yelled at, told we’re wrong, being shamed and more…

These stories we create are here to protect us from being hurt. We are being reactive. It’s what the brain does really well. The issue is what we once faced is no longer really present but parts of us are just being extra safe to not get hurt. These stories then inform our behavior and sense of self. We often “overprotect” ourselves based on these unresolved wounds.

This pushes people away, keeps us playing small, hiding and in fear. We want intimacy and connection but struggle to create it because we are running internal mental, emotional and spiritual programs of fear.

I ran these programs for years. It kept me from engaging authentically and really connecting in-depth and intimacy. It wasn’t until I began to clear the baggage and the trauma of the past and started creating new stories based on what was actually happening instead of project the past into the now that I began to live a meaningful life – connected sex, outward success, genuine friendships, enhanced opportunities and sincere love.

When men own their space and live in their truth, when our actions match our words and we move through our fears, we stop pretending and start owning living life unapologetically from a place of inclusivity and love. We don’t overreact, get angry and aggressive and criticize or stonewall those we love out of pre-emptive fear of being hurt.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

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Keeping It Real

For us to love each other we must respect each others anger.

Fierceness is an expression of inner strength; violence is an expression of frustrated, unconscious impotence. To disagree when in Union is natural.

We think disagreement is bad! What looks like a fight is maybe the fierceness of love raging passionately in to the space that lovers occupy. More often than not, it’s individuated wounding rising to the surface.

How To Create Deeper Intimacy & Explosive Sex

There are a million one ways to create connection and depth in relationship. I could go deep in to techniques, secrets and the subtleties of behaviour and human interaction and the reality is if we don’t explore ourselves first and are willing to venture in to the unknown, it’s a fruitless task.

Something that is massively overlooked in our world today is selflessness and giving. Moving beyond the first stage of intimate relating of selfishness and a focus of “what can I get from this relationship”, in to: “what can I give to this relationship”?

Honouring Those We Love

A heartfelt tribute to our connected humanity… Please feel… How do we honour those we feel deeply for, those we are bonded to? We revere them for exactly what they are, how they show up and how they present themselves. How do we allow others to be who they are..?

The Awakened Man

We place such unrealistic expectations on ourselves that then leaks into our relationships. I remember the moment where I really turned harsh self-judgment on its head. I mean I really got it, viscerally in my body, it dropped like it was there the whole time and I couldn’t see it or even access it.

A Man’s Suffering

You would think this wouldn’t be that hard to have in modern world. However, we are missing this. Men are overworked, depressed, repressed, isolated, numb and in excess pursuit of values such as status that does not serve.

Our boys are still growing in to adult bodies without effective rites of passage, without the confidence, wisdom, knowledge and skills. They are essentially left to fend for themselves and figure it out alone.