What do you do when you’re being gaslighted?

 According to Merriam-Webster, to “gaslight” is to ” to attempt to make (someone) believe that he or she is going insane (as by subjecting that person to a series of experiences that have no rational explanation).”

 Gaslighting, rather than it being a psychological pathology, is a character trait that’s associated with narcissism and being anti-social. It involves manipulation, controlling, and making their “victims” question their reality or make them feel vulnerable and confused.

 And remember, feeling like a victim only perpetuates the gaslighter. 

 Here are 5 ways you can do to help deal with gaslighting:

 1.) Acknowledge and reaffirm your own value

 – No one will ever be good enough for the gaslighter. They will twist your reality and will stop at nothing to portray their correctness, that they know exactly what they’re doing, and you DON’T.

 2.) Cut off communication with the gaslighter

 – If you’re in an intimate relationship with a gaslighter, make sure to communicate and remain grounded in your value, because you know what’s going to happen if you don’t (see tip number 1)

 3.) Take time to reconnect with your identity

 – When you’re feeling disconnected from your truth or when you’re doubting yourself because of what a gaslighter has said to and about you, write in a journal all the things that make you, well, YOU. Write down your value and your identity. Only YOU know your true self. You can also ask other people you respect, revere, and trust to give them their honest perception of who you are as a person.

 4.) Get perspective from someone you trust, respect, and revere about your gaslighting situation.

 – Try to be REALLY specific and detailed about what you’re going through. Ask them what they think about the situation you’re in. Remember not to lead them with anything, but rather present to them the situation to get as close to an unbiased view as possible.

 5.) Practice forgiveness

 – Forgive the gaslighter, but more importantly, forgive YOURSELF for allowing yourself to be in the situation, especially when it has dragged on for so long. Take this opportunity to go deep within yourself to really get to know you, be with your feelings, acknowledge your feelings, and finally forgive.

 Relationships can be challenging and hard, but you need not endure a highly toxic situation with another. Proper communication and inner work for both parties (that is, if they’re willing and dedicated) will help ensure a harmonious and happy relationship. Look deep within self to regain your identity and bring yourself back to what’s real and what’s right. 

If you are wanting to up-level your own growth then take The Love Block Quiz to help you get clear on what is holding you back from experiencing epic love and relationships. Here, you will be directed to understand the very fears stopping you from living your best life. You will be then taken on a journey of discovery and provided with tools and techniques to make the shifts you deserve and step in to your potential.

 One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author