A man of deepened nobility responds to the actual and relies on the real to shape his mind and heart. We often create stories about how our reality plays out. These stories we create are often based on old unprocessed and unknown fear and wounding. Fear of being rejected, yelled at, told we’re wrong, being shamed and more…

These stories we create are here to protect us from being hurt. We are being reactive. It’s what the brain does really well. The issue is what we once faced is no longer really present but parts of us are just being extra safe to not get hurt. These stories then inform our behavior and sense of self. We often “overprotect” ourselves based on these unresolved wounds.

This pushes people away, keeps us playing small, hiding and in fear. We want intimacy and connection but struggle to create it because we are running internal mental, emotional and spiritual programs of fear.

I ran these programs for years. It kept me from engaging authentically and really connecting in-depth and intimacy. It wasn’t until I began to clear the baggage and the trauma of the past and started creating new stories based on what was actually happening instead of project the past into the now that I began to live a meaningful life – connected sex, outward success, genuine friendships, enhanced opportunities and sincere love.

When men own their space and live in their truth, when our actions match our words and we move through our fears, we stop pretending and start owning living life unapologetically from a place of inclusivity and love. We don’t overreact, get angry and aggressive and criticize or stonewall those we love out of pre-emptive fear of being hurt.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author