Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

The Tragedy Of Not Sacrificing

Sacrificing or ‘to sacrifice’ often receives a ‘bad wrap’. Why even sacrifice what we value? Perhaps the experience is not worthy of our immersion and embodiment, our attention and energy? Why place ourselves in a position where we may perceive ourselves to be ‘losing’?

The perception of loss is not a worthy pursuit. Does sacrifice not indicate to us that the experience is fruitless? Turn around and don’t look back. This experience is not for you… Or is there something else at play here that carries more value and meaning than we may think?

If we can place ourselves in a position where we are not viewing sacrifice as something negative, but rather something of tremendous value and inspiration we may be open to the transformation that can come with temporal suffering.

Why suffering? Often when we are sacrificing we feel we are missing out on something of value and importance to us and our slant towards our lives can be one of resentment. Perspective is everything, so what if for a moment (just enough to view the world a little differently) we were able to perceive our circumstances from a vantage point of connectedness, growth and opportunity?

When we choose to NOT sacrifice we are ‘playing it safe’, we are not exploring, not growing, not opening ourselves to possibly momentous experiences – revelatory, life-transformative experiences that can grant us passage in to a new life. Safety does not equate to growth. Complacency, the mundane and normalcy is boring.

We are not made for boring or the mundane. If we choose to not venture outside of the ‘uncomfortable’ then how can we know what is truly for us? How can we innovate, breakthrough and create new paradigms of being? To explore is to ‘sacrifice’. Yes, if we engage in one experience we forego experiencing others. This is true. In this truth however, if we fully commit to our choices we will extract deeply from them and know that we are exactly where we are meant to be, because we are living in alignment, truth and purpose.

The perception of sacrifice is held internally by us as a reference point for observing the world when we lack an understanding, clarity and congruent connection to where we are, who we are and what we are being and doing. The wise know intrinsically that sacrifice can be viewed and help positively. There is always something to gain, to learn to grow from in every experience. Regret limits our ability to express, gain and grow.

Sacrifice is real, it exists, but to paint it with the brush of negativity or ‘bad’, is not useful. It is neutral. It simply allows us to understand and know that if we take one path, we forgo infinite other paths. And…… So what? If we dwell on what we do not have, where we are not, what we are not and who we are not being then we miss the value of the present moment and we distance ourselves deeply from the now. This is in part the root of so much of our suffering.

Just be where you are. This is your power.

One is always glad to be of service. S.Sifandos.

 

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
[fbcomments]

You Are Enough

I spent so much of my life in hiding. Hiding from my fears, my anger, my insecurities, my pain, my past. I spent my life hating on myself, filling my mind with the lies I was not enough and not worthy.

You know the dialogue… “Not smart enough, not strong enough, not popular enough, not wealthy enough, just not enough. I covered the not ‘enoughness’ with either retraction or aggression.d

Mindful Monogamy – An Open Enquiry

Let me begin by saying that there is no ‘wrong’ and no ‘right’ or ‘boxing in of labels. When choosing for you what is in alignment for your intimate and interpersonal romantic relationships careful consideration of so many factors must come in to play. Any experience we choose to engage in if not mindful carries less of an impact in terms of how we may grow, release and transform…

Depth Of Honouring

Generally, men are seen or considered stable, vertical and never-changing (reliable and strong). The masculine, consciousness or conscious energy is this – but it also transitions through life as it (that expressive aspect of self becomes self-realised).

As healthy masculine men we are ever-changing in the sense not that we are not stable nor that we are fluid, but as we become conscious we evolve and we evolve in to new ways of expression, being and viewing reality.

What Do You Truly Value In Relationship?

The traits that are attractive and appealing when dating are different to the traits needed when maintaining a meaningful and long-term relationship.

This is not to say that what we were initially attracted to doesn’t still apply years later. It most definitely does. When we first meet we are yearning for passion, excitement, we often value an outgoing personality, confidence, and the spontaneous pursuit and chase of discovering the novelty of each other.

Feeling “Safe Enough”

We live in a world where intimacy is almost exclusively associated with sex and sexual expression. We define intimacy by how open, novel, and “risky” we can be sexually. Sexual exploration is super important and we must understand where our yearning to explore is coming from?

Share This