1. Your basic needs were not met
2. You lacked guidelines and structure
3. Your primary caregivers put you down
4. You were never or rarely praised
5. You grew up in scarcity
6. You grew up in violence, fear and Volatility
7. You were criticised and judged as a child
8. Your primary caregivers worked excessively
9. You didn’t feel heard or seen
10. You were not attended to in an appropriate way
11. You were never shown affection such as a hug
12. When you expressed a painful emotion you were not met with empathy or compassion
13. You were called names by your parents
14. Your parents did not defend you

We suffer when we neglect ourselves and when we do not own who we are. So many of us grew up in disconnection from our families, unprotected from those we were meant to trust, unseen and unforgiven. I experienced hardship like many of us – physical abuse, violence, volatility in the home, shame and projected judgment.

My parents were in pain and chose to pass it on to myself and my brother. What has happened to you in not your responsibility. How you deal with it is. What you choose to do with all the gifts are so important. It shapes your destiny.

For me, until I chose to embrace all of me – the shadow, the dark experiences, the repressed fears and the pain I could not FEEL, nor BE free… Freedom was an embrace of all of who I was. Who are you?

What do you need right now in order to thrive? Support, a space to voice your fears, non-judgement? What does the love within you screaming to be heard need right now? Compassion? Empathy? Can you give this two yourself? Can you fully feel yourself in this place?

Your spark is needed. You have NO RIGHT to deny the world of your brilliance and of your light. Your light cannot shine if your darkness is not revealed. You needn’t live there, you simply need to meet yourself where you truly are. Never seen, never heard, can you feel fully this in order to RELEASE and forgive?

Forgiveness is tokenistic unless the feelings around those circumstances are fully felt, expressed and released at a visceral level. You are ready and you are here. Find your tribe, find your voice and believe in your power. Your stories needn’t define you. You get to define you here and now…

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author