Be In Existential Curiosity

You are not in an existential crisis, you are in existential curiosity. Be aware of the distinction and transcendence that awaits.

I shared this with a client not long ago. Your highest self is asking to be witnessed, not from a place of immature ego, but from a place of remembrance. We will often create chaos and apparent confusion in our lives to lead us back to clarity and truth (the human experience learns through contrast). If we can be resilient enough to withstand these storms, we reconnect to our true north – who we’ve always been.

Think of it this way. Your mind-heart-soul-body complex is unfamiliar with not experiencing drama in life, therefore anything other than “chaos” is unknown and unfamiliar and considered a threat. The body lives in the past and wants to remain with what it knows (comfort = safety), so it does what it can to distract and come back into what is unhealthy homeostasis.

You then create more drama, pain, old fears come up, you become protective in your life, you blame others and shame yourself. Anything you can do to remain in the familiar patterns of being. You have thought about change and living a fuller, whole life but this thought is foreign.

You doubt it and you doubt yourself. It’s overwhelming – change can be. You become fearful, your brain’s protective strategies kick in and you’re reminded of the past and how change is painful. You choose inadvertently to remain in what you know.

What was genuine curiosity becomes a crisis because you’re being forced to choose what you know (familiar, safe – albeit often painful and not desirable) with what you don’t know (the mystery and possible pain and so on). “Better the devil you know” says the brain.

You struggle to trust what is unfamiliar and the body creates a crisis associated with a potential change to remain in what is more known (safer). You cycle this and you continue to find yourself in a disillusioned state. How to shift this paradigm?

Tell yourself you are safe. Place a hand on your heart and navel and breathe slow. Connect the mind and body and slow down your thoughts. Be more curious. Ask the internal question of “what if”? Challenge yourself and learn more about all of your edges by taking yourself there and showing yourself that you can still survive. Ice baths, ask that person out, move state, start writing that book, find new friends, start a new career, create a new hobby, travel more, etc.

You’re not alone. You’re ready for change.

One is glad to be of service

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



The Expansive Masculine

When my mother sent me some old pictures of when I was child, my heart opened and memories came flooding back to me. I saw an innocent little boy with a massive smile on his face.

Yet the happy times were outweighed massively by the sadness and fear I experienced. Overtime that little boy learned that closing down his heart was the best way to protect himself. Then he grew up to be a man that was shut down because of a his pain.

The Flame Of True Desire Is Love In Motion

There is nothing wrong with desiring. It’s more HOW we desire that really affects our sense of self and the quality of our relationships. Desiring allows us to pursue, stop and embody, feel, think, perceive, dream and move through the world.

The Illusion Of Separation

We have never been separate. Whilst we are different in so many ways, we are a mirror of the variance that is us that we cannot ‘see’ nor feel from the first person.

Our difference is our power. Our differences are what bond and unite us. Our differences are what allow us to be empowered.

Verticality In Holding – A Tribute To Feminine Divinity

Men (or the masculine energy) – A reminder… How do you hold your beloved? How you hold her is based upon how you revere her. The depth at which you revere her is dependent on the value you place on her intrinsic beauty, soul and heart…

The Harsh Inner Critic

Lately, I have found myself comparing myself to others (particularly men in my space) that I perceive to hold the attributes I don’t yet have within myself. This has placed me in a little bit of a tailspin. There are times where I will be empowered and inspired and do more and concentrate on the authenticity of my expression and…

There are times where I revert and get stuck, feel the victim that I put so much effort in and “where am I still, what does he have that I don’t?” I criticize, become frustrated, agitated, short with others, despondent and not motivated to create. I feel jealousy and unworthy in this comparison mode.


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