A Man’s Suffering

Why are we suffering as men? Why are so many of us unhappy? Perhaps this is something to look at? Young men and boys in the modern world are not guided and are under-fathered.

Affection, teaching and leading by example are three essential factors for optimal human growth:

1. Affection: to let our young boys know they matter
2. Teaching: to help them understand their lives and life in general and;
3. Example: so they can learn by direct example how a healthy man thinks, feels, emotes, acts and responds to challenge

You would think this wouldn’t be that hard to have in modern world. However, we are missing this. Men are overworked, depressed, repressed, isolated, numb and in excess pursuit of values such as status that does not serve.

Our boys are still growing in to adult bodies without effective rites of passage, without the confidence, wisdom, knowledge and skills. They are essentially left to fend for themselves and figure it out alone.

They haven’t received the “software” on how to be men. Where are the father figures. It’s a complicated socio-cultural, economic web. As men and women we are neurologically wired, socially shaped, hormonally orchestrated and behaviorally formed by being the sex we are.

Although boys can gain so much from women and girls from men of course, there is something to be said for our own gender helping us deal with our unique biological issues as we transit through life.

If we don’t talk about this, we are all doomed! We are all in this together. This is an “all together” issue.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author

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On Being Safe

Perhaps there is nothing more beautifully profound and magical then knowing with all that you are that you are safe for those who are in your lives, particularly your beloved. That you will hold them through the chaos, the internal raging sea of volatility that we all experience as we grow, change and transmute ourselves at various points in our lives.

What Is Masculinity?

Masculinity is not a fad, it’s not “bad”, toxic or wrong. Masculinity as an expressive construct is natural to us as men. As men, in our core essence of masculinity, we have lost touch with what it means to be “masculine”.
I am not here to tell you how to “be a man”. That’s your role, you know how. However, most men have lost deep contact with their healthy masculine presence. How to assume that power once more.

The Contracted Heart

We spend so much of our lives protecting ourselves from hurt, pain and fear. We retract ourselves and in dong so also retract and hide our gifts from the world and from ourselves.

The Harsh Inner Critic

Lately, I have found myself comparing myself to others (particularly men in my space) that I perceive to hold the attributes I don’t yet have within myself. This has placed me in a little bit of a tailspin. There are times where I will be empowered and inspired and do more and concentrate on the authenticity of my expression and…

There are times where I revert and get stuck, feel the victim that I put so much effort in and “where am I still, what does he have that I don’t?” I criticize, become frustrated, agitated, short with others, despondent and not motivated to create. I feel jealousy and unworthy in this comparison mode.

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