Acknowledge Your Pain

There is no shame in acknowledging our pain.

When man hides his grief with anger we all suffer. I was excessively angry for so long. Blaming others for my repeated “misfortunes”, snapping at those I loved and hating on everything that went “wrong” in my life.

Men often mask their grief with anger. Their sense of loss, that feeling of not being nurtured, approved or protected by the father in their life. I felt this for too long and covered this sense of loss with so much anger and rage.

Grief seldom feels good at the time but if only we knew that it feels better than being numb to our feelings. Essentially when we grieve we are becoming alive again.

It is a compass for our life anew. A renewal of sorts allowing us to yearn for what we have lost so that we can recreate it in a new and empowered way. It helps us understand ourselves and accept what we pretended we didn’t need.

Closeness, trust, friendship, love, being seen and non-judgment. When most men are angry we are hiding grief and deep sadness. I know I did. And this anger ultimately drives us further away from what we actually need.

Denial is a short term strategy, not a way of permanence. Ancient cultures knew this and incorporated ways to deal with loss, war, pain and shame. I never shook that shit and that pain out until my adult years. The childhood trauma, the emotional loss of my father, the school yard teasing and more.

Roughing things out and numbing ourselves to sensation only further deadens us to the world and our truth. The organic release valves of sadness, tears, being held, shaking or primal screaming must be available to us otherwise we become more tensile within.

The Maori warriors knew this. After war they would rest in hot springs, under waterfalls and wash away their fear, sadness and bloodiness of war to become whole again. The women would sing to them as they let it all go.

Time to let it all go

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



To Ravage Wildly Begins and Ends With Openness and Trust

For the masculine to take the feminine in to ecstasy, both softness in surrender and authenticity in leadership must transpire. THIS IS DEEPLY ABOUT CONSENT, CONNECTION & MUTUAL TRUST. THIS IS NOT ABOUT SELFISH DOMINANCE OR OPPRESSION.

Men – The Need For Freedom

Traditionally, men have required freedom in order to function, in order to feel safe, at peace and connected.

This is not a, nor THE problem. The ‘problem’ (or perhaps puzzle to put together and mystery to solve) is how we have defined freedom as a collective and how we will define it moving forward?

Embracing differences

We speak to the differences in men and women not to segregate but to celebrate. This celebration allows us to honor ourselves and each other. The truth is we are in this together.

Divine Union is something that can only flourish when polarity is felt to be merged. When sacred masculine deliberate intention meets sacred feminine compassion and opening.

Keeping It Real

For us to love each other we must respect each others anger.

Fierceness is an expression of inner strength; violence is an expression of frustrated, unconscious impotence. To disagree when in Union is natural.

Signs You Are In Your Shadow Masculine

This energy, which applies to both men and women is less about gender and more about expression in this specific context. We talk about these traits in “masculine” terms because they are associated with that contrasted energetic expression. We can use other terms such as: “go energy” or “do energy”. These energies are vital for us but when extreme like anything becomes unhealthy.

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