This isn’t about ownership. This is about responsibility, clarity, transparency and fullness in expression. To claim another is to commit. To first commit to your truth and claim within yourself what you yearn for. From here, it becomes an open DECLARATION. To know who you are and what you want and to then let others witness and bathe in that.

How can we expect others to feel safe in our presence when we emit cluttered thoughts and confusion. As men, we cherish freedom, yet this yearning for freedom at times comes from deep fear. A scarcity mindset around what is possible and what is “ours”.

And we project this fear upon others and our lovers through being non-committal in our posture or our actions. We state freedom is our priority and we cannot “be free” if we are in intimate relationship. We yearn for freedom, yet are attached to losing it.

This causes friction, rigidity and tension. The antithesis of being or feeling free. Our partners feel this and as it goes, complimentary wounding has a way of expressing itself exactly as required for us to reveal and heal. However…

What usually unravels is we continue to fight and push against our edges instead of SEEING the opportunity for growth and meeting our edges with greater grace and openness. So, we yearn for freedom yet are uncertain, wavered and non-committal in our expression.

So our beloved clings on to us – being obsessive, encroaching our “freedoms” because they don’t feel loved, seen, CHOSEN or CLAIMED. There is doubt because of our insecurities and we therefore perpetuate deeper uncertainty.

We must learn to own our fears and know fully what our come from for our desires truly are. Once we master this, we master the exchange and flow of life.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author