Masculinity is forced because true masculinity in contemporary times has been suppressed. There are those that may say if something is forced, then it is not real, nor a worthy pursuit. AND, do we not at times force ourselves to play an instrument or up level our smarts in certain expressions or remain focused on a disagreement with a loved one so that we can reconcile?

Challenge has moulded men in to masters of their domain. Now, in contemporary times, we are wiser and more adept. Now we needn’t force so hard, but rather take the perspective of ‘inspired perseverance’. If something matters to us, we may pursue it with tenacity. Masculinity in its essence is essentially derived from deep challenge.

Men were forged from hardship. Our ancestors’ strength was derived from the feats of exploration in to the unknown. From pushing the edges of human existence and from expanding the perimeter and valuing and guarding all that was a part of that perimeter.

Men have thrived on protecting resources within the community of tribe they were are part of and searching for additional resources for thriving and surviving. In contemporary times we live in relatively safe and undisturbed environments. Men needn’t be men as they once were.

Yet, there is something within the masculine that asks to be seen in all its glory. It’s beyond the substructures of ego, fame or vanity. It’s to adhere to a set of primal principles that make men masculine. Masculinity is not dead, its very much alive within every man.

Some men are simply distant from it and hide from their internal warrior code. Others have suppressed their healthy and natural yearning to explore masculinity through hyper and unchecked (distracting) aggression. Men are made to be seen in all their prowess.

To see themselves in power, to gauge themselves against their brothers, in order to grow, preserve and thrive. Our consciousness now allows us to expand our notion of embodied masculinity to new heights. We are ready to evolve beyond our current repressed and either passive or hyper status.

But first we must embrace the parts of ourselves we have been neglecting. When we repudiate masculinity as an outdated cultural construct, we are denying an integral part of our collective whole and the integrity of our relationships. Men need to be men.

To ignore the talents of men being masculine men is to ignore the nature of man. Our consciousness now means, we needn’t be extreme nor rigid in our expression in the world, however, we must honour our capacity to be leaders who carry an honour code of growth through deliberate challenge.

Now, we get to choose our challenges and how we grow in relationship to ourselves and each other. This is a gift and a duty to cut through the bullshit that the clutter of society provides us. To see though the fear and the agenda of those who fear the power of the healthy masculine and honour our internal code.

The man who chooses the way of men today is doing so of his own volition. He is choosing masculinity – strength, courage, mastery, presence, purpose and honour for himself because he simply wants to. He is not reacting immaturely to external pressure but rather choosing nobly his path. His worthiness is self-imposed not dictated to by the extremity of externality.

Challenge is healthy if related to healthily, from a place of wanting to expand. And in contemporary times we get to choose our challenges. Our consciousness now allows us to be greater creative, inclusive and reverent of others. Passivity and ease of access in our society should not breed complacency in today’s man.

One is always glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



The Talk To Trauma

We speak a great deal to the wounds of the past, the pain we have experienced ‘growing up’. We can be debilitated unknowingly by the pain we harbour within because we have been unable to release the tension certain experiences have caused us – the feeling of an endless mountain looms ahead.

Better OUT than IN

My beautiful grandmother would tell me to never hold farts in. In Italian, she would say often “Always out, never in.” I remember this distinctly, and then she would burp and I would laugh hysterically. She was the best! I then would run around farting and get excited to go to the toilet haha! I now often think about the real life implications of ‘out’.

Man – Starter Of Worlds

Man as an intellectual and spiritual beast is the sovereign creator of his reality. A man pursuing strength over weakness is aware of his ability to create and mold the world he lives in.

Meaning, the affirming of oneself and our own worth is an inside job. This notion of intimate and sovereign self-reliance is the back bone of the contemporary man. The new man must also acquaint himself with a trusted brethren.

Humility in Life

There is an opportunity that takes place every so often & rarely in a man’s life is this opportunity presented because we are too stubborn to embrace this gift. That opportunity is to be humbled by the continuity of life.

The only way to embrace this level of humility is to be open to transparent, evolving transformation, change of self, behaviour, beliefs, actions & expressions.

Transference – How Good Are You At It?

Attempting to understand this type of behaviour according to a superficial or face value view will only confuse us and distance us form ourselves and our loved ones…

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