The Awakened Man

He is not interested in perfection. He can never be what he does not pursue. He makes mistakes. He feels pain. He loses track of his truth. He hurts himself. He at times unintentionally hurts others. He becomes confused. He forgets his mission at times. He feels pressure and can be reactive. The awakened man however consistently returns to facing his shadows, doing his inner work and above all is WILLING to face all that he is not in order to become all that he was born to be… To serve himself, his lover, his community, and earth… 

We place such unrealistic expectations on ourselves that then leaks into our relationships. I remember the moment where I really turned harsh self-judgment on its head. I mean I really got it, viscerally in my body, it dropped like it was there the whole time and I couldn’t see it or even access it.

It was a warm day, I had finished training, I was on my driveway, the sun was behind some clouds, the birds were chirping and it was beautiful in California… I was now speaking with my coach at the time. He was guiding me through some processes around shame, guilt, and self-judgment.

And during this process, we were accessing some memories from my childhood around how dad saw me and how I thought dad saw me and how I saw myself through the lens of how dad saw me… I know very confusing, right. But something clicked within me.

I had been holding myself back for so fucking long… I was so judgmental of myself because that is how my dad saw himself and projected that on to me. I took that on. I made his reality mine. I looked up to him so much and wanted his approval so much, that I made myself be like him.

And in meeting impossible expectations, I judged myself harshly, never feeling enough and adept and by default passed those expectations and judgments on to others. Expecting them to be more, do more, and give more. This distanced intimacy, connection, and closeness.

Back to the driveway… It just hit me, like a tonne of bricks. I push others away and am regularly angry at others because I am angry at myself. I judge myself so harshly that I am constantly frustrated at people and this makes others move away…

Which further perpetuated this belief that I am not good enough. This realization lifted something from me. A pressure I never consciously knew was there… I felt an immediate change and immediate closeness to that little boy within me that had been crying for help for so long.

Being willing to look at this gave me freedom… You can experience this also. 

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



The Fullest Expression

There comes a time when we realize we are more than just how we express in to the world.

There is a fine line between giving, receiving, observing and being active in our action taking.

This recognizing of who we are at depth, whilst recognizing the intricate layers that we are made of frees us from the pain of limited expression and rigid posturing.

The Passage Of Manhood

A message to men for all – of course this applies to all of us. Divine Women, please know the intricacies of this journey so that you may be served also by the deep growth of men…

The Great Divide

Space… The great divide. I am not speaking to the space we may know as outer space, the cosmos or the universe. I am referring to the space we require in relationships. We forget the utter importance of what space provides us.
Space is a bridge. Attraction, eroticism, connection and intimacy not only comes from closeness, but it comes from space, distance and a yearning to be in each other’s presence. And the creation of space is an “art”. Too much and one is perhaps forgotten, not often enough and one may feel suffocated and the loss of magnetism.

The Removal Of Our Unhealthy Armour – The Opening Of The Heart

It is time for the modern man to choose openly to remove his unconscious and unhealthy armour. No, this does not translate to becoming apathetic, denying any biological drivers within or relinquishing his ‘manliness’ or manhood…

Men, How Can You Be A Safe Harbor For Your Women?

Men! Be predictable in behavior. Show up being safe in how you deal with challenge and difficulty. Yes, you can still be mysterious and spontaneous in your sexuality, love languages and the way you treat your queen. But be consistent in how you show up to arguments and the needs of your partner.


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