1. Substance addiction

2. Excessive pornography

3. Projections upon others

4. Massive insecurities

5. Jealousy

6. Controlling behaviour

7. Domestic violence

8. Self-sabotage

9. Guilt and shame

10. Shadow behavior

11. Cheating

12.Repeating the same patterns of fear and pain

13. Not taking responsibility for our actions

Which of these have you experienced from others or maybe have expressed into the world? Our “shadow” trauma haunts us.

It’s the stuff that we choose to forget because it’s too painful to remember. Too difficult to face. What we must understand is that these fears and pains that we shove deep down and choose to forget are still there itching and scraping to be heard.

Give them a voice. Give them some air in a safe place to vent and be seen without judgment and with deep compassion. Can you meet them with love, as opposed to meeting with them with hate?

I remember the self-loathing, the massive judgment and the pretending to be someone I was not. Pretend to be happy because I thought no one wants to witness my anger or sadness.

However, it showed up in agitation, snappiness and projected frustrations – I would be verbally aggressive to others for the smallest of things. We are better than that. The ego hides in shame, when we break that pattern and allow our truth to be seen (even if we think it’s “ugly”), we break free.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author