“Shit Or Get Off The Pot”

Rise in to certainty! The above phase basically means either commit and be all in or get out of the way and stop pretending. In relationship, this translates to three key things:


Make a decision, stay with it and grow with it! As men, we are told to be discerning, carry clarity in our actions and know what we want. I agree with all of this and more. In an ideal world we communicate our truth with complete knowing, self-belief and wisdom.

And herein lies the problem. So many of us do not ‘know’ who we are. We live to the tune fabricated by another and are never living to our own truth, therefore never really knowing who we are and what our ‘substance’ is?

Men, one of the most attractive qualities you posses as healthy masculine men is showing up to the world and to the women in your life with certainty and clarity in what you want. Commitment to your path and journey is everything!

This makes us safe, open and transparent. We are not dangerous if we are known by others and the only way we can be known to others truthfully is if we know and revere ourselves. This lends itself to trust.

We exude trust, we embody it, we live it. Our actions, our word, our thought – every deed carries certainty and an unbridled commitment that allows us to be see for who we truly are. We are not doubted, nor are we feared – we are revered.

We are not volatile, nor unpredictable. We are respected and we trusted. We are not condemned, we are not perceived as wrong. When we trust in ourselves, believe in our path and act in integrity we are liberated.

We bring this all-encompassing freedom to life and to our relationships. We become attractive, we become appealing – we become FUCKING MAGNETIC! Ask any woman if she is excited by a man who knows himself and is in deep integrity! We live on purpose. We are not confused or scared little boys expressing from unconscious pain.

To get to this place, our hearts must be open and we have traversed the unchecked fears that have once resided within us. Men, the greatest gift you can give you loved ones is that of a clear and certain commitment to self.

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



The One Thing That Creates Connection, Depth, and Intimacy

We learn at a young age to wear masks to protect ourselves and be part of the “in” or popular group. We seek validation, approval and acceptance of those we deify, love and respect (aka our parents, peers and society).
We can’t maintain this. We seek to be accepted in all the wrong ways. Masculine and feminine energies exist in all of us. They are simply contrasted energetic expressions of our thoughts, beliefs and reality.

Debunking 5 Myths Around Being a Man

Whilst there are many ideas around what it means to be masculine and what it means to be a man in today’s world, many of them are either based on outdated cultural norms or are distorted and unrealistic. Why? Because, we are placing far too much emphasis on what man ‘should’ be in an idealistic sense and not actually placing attention on the gifts of man.

The Illusion Of Separation

We have never been separate. Whilst we are different in so many ways, we are a mirror of the variance that is us that we cannot ‘see’ nor feel from the first person.

Our difference is our power. Our differences are what bond and unite us. Our differences are what allow us to be empowered.

Trauma Recovery In Relationship

It can be tough. It often brings out the “worst” in us. We slip into patterns of unworthiness, self-blame, self-pity or even projected aggressiveness. Is it really the worst in us that is coming out or just old coping strategies that we are still using to deal with something that is extremely uncomfortable?

Love Is Conditional

There it is. I said what basically we all do. We all place conditions on the way we care for others, okay, well the VAST majority of us do. I know I have & so what, where to from here? Are standards, ideals, values & conditions bad?

If your partner is physically or emotionally abusing you consistently should you remain in that situation with no indication of change because you wish to have ‘unconditional love’?

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