Lately, I have found myself comparing myself to others (particularly men in my space) that I perceive to hold the attributes I don’t yet have within myself. This has placed me in a little bit of a tailspin. There are times where I will be empowered and inspired and do more and concentrate on the authenticity of my expression and…

There are times where I revert and get stuck, feel the victim that I put so much effort in and “where am I still, what does he have that I don’t?” I criticize, become frustrated, agitated, short with others, despondent and not motivated to create. I feel jealousy and unworthy in this comparison mode.

In the past, I would lose myself in this state a lot more. It would stunt my growth because all I would focus on is the “negative” within every situation.

These days I may still arrive at this place but my layover is shorter. I ask questions like: “What are these feelings teaching me? What place within me are they coming from? What is unresolved within me? How can this fuel me, as opposed to constricting me? What is it in others I am not owning within myself? Am I distracting myself to self-sabotage my growth because my ego is scared?” Asking these kinds of questions helps me shift out of a negative state faster (and they’ll help you too). Doing some breathwork (which is now something I teach) also supports my state shift.

Our experiences teach us things about who we are and how we are living our lives. I lived my life living with these feelings but never processing them. I allowed them to control me and I chose to never learn from them. It’s difficult now as a man owning this, but I am realising that if I don’t own them, they will own me.

By owning these feelings, I get a very real opportunity to move them on… What are you choosing to feel, own and release in your life? 

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author