Are You Desirable?

Now more than ever I feel deeply connected to the core of who I and appreciate deeply what I bring to the world, but it has not always been this way. I struggled as a child to know myself and to be comfortable to show ‘the real me’ in front of others.

I felt like I was not really wanted carried a belief of unworthiness with me. I wore masks to hide how scared I was of rejection. Although at times it was subtle, it permeated so much of what I believed and how I behaved, thought and felt in the world.

If you have felt oppression, told you were wrong one too many times, ostracized for simply being you and having an opinion, you are not alone. As a man we are not really taught how to deal with repressed expression and so we often take that pain and expel it in to the world in unhealthy ways.

I became defensive. I lost a deeper sense of my purpose and I wore so many masks because of this. These masks tainted my truth and kept me from communicating the authentic essence of me in to the world. I hid and I acted from a place of fear not wanting to be rejected.

I faked my way through desirability. Never really communicating my core needs in fear of being ostracized or neglected. I felt such tension, which I then took and transmuted into shortness, aggression and violence. I thought “well, that’s the ‘manly’ thing to do.” Fight and aggress.

Where to from here? Own it, take responsibility. It wasn’t until I looked deep in to myself, began to pay a more profound attention to the gaping emotional and spiritual chasms that plagued my psyche; that I was able to make the unconscious conscious.

So how do we take a deeper look at ourselves? By giving ourselves permission to simply be. To tell the joke, that no one may want to hear, to be sad, to express confusion, to be ‘wrong’, to be embarrassed and be okay with all of it.

My life was a consistent cycle of struggle that was not in alignment with my truth. The moment I took full responsibility for my life – I experienced freedom, continuity and flow.

It was here, that I became desirable TO ME. I saw and felt myself for the first time. And hence I was able to be meaningfully desirable to the world, without inhibition.

Every sentient being wishes to be seen. Men, you are kidding yourselves if you think you are exempt from this aspect of the human condition. When we release the burden of needing to be someone according other people’s views of worthiness we become truly liberated and here, we can choose consciously who we truly wish to be.

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Healthy Intimacy Vs. Unhealthy Intimacy

We all yearn for connection, touch, understanding and a wanting to be seen. We often create barriers to this level of trusted connection due to certain traumatic or painful experiences we have had and the beliefs we have then formed around these experiences.

The Wounded Boy-Like Masculine

Right now our world needs structure, healthy transparency, a sense of healthy confidence and an ability to put away the ego and come together in greater harmony and compassion.

The wounded aspects of self are rising to the surface in a rapid way for both the feminine and masculine wounding. This means that we will feel more pressure, more pain and more uncertainty.

You Are Enough

I spent so much of my life in hiding. Hiding from my fears, my anger, my insecurities, my pain, my past. I spent my life hating on myself, filling my mind with the lies I was not enough and not worthy.

You know the dialogue… “Not smart enough, not strong enough, not popular enough, not wealthy enough, just not enough. I covered the not ‘enoughness’ with either retraction or aggression.d

Unlocking The Celebration Of Man

Our men are good. Our men do good. Can we focus on what our men have to offer? Can we focus on the goodness of man? Unlocking and unleashing the power of man can be everything.

Can we look at man and celebrate his achievements, his aspirations and his prowess? Can we gaze deeply in to the soul of man and feel his purity of intention.

Gender Reverence

When we choose to see, feel and interact beyond the normative lens of segregation we grow. This does not mean we do not value difference – biological, social, cultural, behavioural, relational, neurological, hormonal, etc. It means though, that we do not discriminate, bias towards or subjugate on prima-facie value based on obvious or subtle physical or ideological differences.


Complete this assessment to uncover the exact blocks preventing you from attracting and experiencing the love and intimacy you truly desire

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