Are You Desirable?

Now more than ever I feel deeply connected to the core of who I and appreciate deeply what I bring to the world, but it has not always been this way. I struggled as a child to know myself and to be comfortable to show ‘the real me’ in front of others.

I felt like I was not really wanted carried a belief of unworthiness with me. I wore masks to hide how scared I was of rejection. Although at times it was subtle, it permeated so much of what I believed and how I behaved, thought and felt in the world.

If you have felt oppression, told you were wrong one too many times, ostracized for simply being you and having an opinion, you are not alone. As a man we are not really taught how to deal with repressed expression and so we often take that pain and expel it in to the world in unhealthy ways.

I became defensive. I lost a deeper sense of my purpose and I wore so many masks because of this. These masks tainted my truth and kept me from communicating the authentic essence of me in to the world. I hid and I acted from a place of fear not wanting to be rejected.

I faked my way through desirability. Never really communicating my core needs in fear of being ostracized or neglected. I felt such tension, which I then took and transmuted into shortness, aggression and violence. I thought “well, that’s the ‘manly’ thing to do.” Fight and aggress.

Where to from here? Own it, take responsibility. It wasn’t until I looked deep in to myself, began to pay a more profound attention to the gaping emotional and spiritual chasms that plagued my psyche; that I was able to make the unconscious conscious.

So how do we take a deeper look at ourselves? By giving ourselves permission to simply be. To tell the joke, that no one may want to hear, to be sad, to express confusion, to be ‘wrong’, to be embarrassed and be okay with all of it.

My life was a consistent cycle of struggle that was not in alignment with my truth. The moment I took full responsibility for my life – I experienced freedom, continuity and flow.

It was here, that I became desirable TO ME. I saw and felt myself for the first time. And hence I was able to be meaningfully desirable to the world, without inhibition.

Every sentient being wishes to be seen. Men, you are kidding yourselves if you think you are exempt from this aspect of the human condition. When we release the burden of needing to be someone according other people’s views of worthiness we become truly liberated and here, we can choose consciously who we truly wish to be.

One is glad to be of service.


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author


Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author



Certainty is Sexy AF

Now I’m speaking to certainty being the new black and not a false or idle sense of certainty – I’m talkin’ ‘bout deep certainty of self that comes from traversing the unknown and the cultivating the courage to communicate that truth.

There is something fucking primal and attractive about a man that knows what he wants and how he wants it.

Why Sacred Union Is Sacred

It is through reference, context, contrast and mirroring that we understand deeply what life is truly about and for. I have recently reached certain realisations that without sacredness in mirroring I truly believe I would not have reached.

Holding Your Partner Through Moon Cycles

Supporting, seeing and holding our women during a sacred time of their lives that symbolises so much wisdom and depth is critical. This is a great time of reflection and process, where we get to celebrate life creation and be present to this.
Our part is to hold, to witness, to ask what is needed and how it is needed. A time to revere, respect and trust. To be ourselves and to show up fuller and take the essence of this love into all other times also. This can be deep teaching of us as men.

Junk or Connected Sex?

Do you numb yourself during sex? Is your sex “junk sex” or connected sex? Are you liberated during sex or do you feel restricted in your...

The Debilitating & Controlling Nature Of Fear

I find it so deeply sad that fear controls our lives, that fear limits us from experiencing wonder, joy, expansion, opportunity and deep love. Love itself is a multidimensional, multilayered and multifaceted experiential state…

Share This