The Unhealthy Fearful Feminine

Fear of the loss of significance

Fear of the loss of beauty

Fear of being perceived as carrying low social value

Fear of low sexual value

Fear of not being seen and heard

Fear of being abandonment and being alone

Fear of not being loved

Fear of never experiencing intimacy

Fear of not being valued

Fear of being ostracized from community 

Courage has been forged from blooms of fear and action. Fear can breed depth of being if we allow it. When we are scared, we either retract and wither or we expand and go in to the mystery of the night and explore the unknown territories of the cosmos with glee and prowess.

FEAR IS NATURAL – FEARS ARE NOT “BAD”! These fears related to the feminine DO NOT only exist in women, they exist in men also! Masculine / feminine energies exist in all people!

It is how we relate to fear that defines us and shapes who we become as men. If we obsess over fear and allow it to be our ultimate reality and choose not to learn from it our expression and exploration becomes limited and unhealthy.

The fears mentioned only become unhealthy when they rule our minds, hearts and actions. If we dance with our fears, revere them and welcome them in to our hearts we become whole, FULL and grow in to empowered, beings who care about themselves and others with great equanimity.

In my own life, I allowed fear to rule me, to enslave my heart and to have me playing small. My fear drove me in to hiding as a wounded child, scared of the world, my father, his heavy hands and heavy words. Later in life, my fear forced me in to the world in an abhorrent way.

Hyper-aggressiveness, attack first, ask questions later, hostility in my relationships and I would close down the heart of the woman I was with because I was so armoured and I refused to open up to loving and possibly being rejected.

Fears on their own are not unhealthy. They are in fact here to guide us and teach us. To show us and help us see and FEEL the essence of who we truly are in this world.

If you are tired of being alone, in the dark and not connecting to the masculine in fullness, then this journey is for you. To truly feel the heart of man, you must know his fears and your own in equanimity.

Our culture conditions us to feel differently at least at some level. When we support each other through knowing each other, we grow together in love.

It was the compassionate, understanding and non-judgmental heart of the divine feminine (that was free of her own fears) that helped free me from the shackles of my ignorance, fear and pain. That alongside my willingness allowed me to see and FEEL with great clarity and live my truest life.

One is glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author