Practicing spiritual principles of being and interacting in our relationships is effectively drawing us away from toxic relationships and leading us towards CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIPS. This article will demonstrate the power of conscious spirituality in a relationship.

It should be clear that there is a tremendous crossover between all layers of being – the mind, the heart, the body and the spirit. And in this context, spirituality really provides an undertone for enhancing these areas of life and allows us to live fully in our expressions. This is the power of authentic spirituality.

The 10 Postures

Below are 10 ways conscious spirituality allows us to connect to our partners and assume certain behaviours within relationships that otherwise would be distant and fragmented if we were not present to the essence of our soul and our spirit.

1. We Become Responsible For Our ‘Stuff’. We Own Who We Are

When we are open to life, we become open to the possibility of our power. It is in this space that we have a capacity to self-reflect at deeper levels. We can recognize where perhaps we have mistreated others or misinterpreted a situation. This allows us to be humble and in this posture we can communicate with greater care and consideration. We can also choose to behave and be different in the way we treat our beloved.

2. We Develop An Acute Curiosity For Life

We choose to do and be different. This openness in transformation presents itself in such a way that allows us to ask questions of our beloved, to know and feel how they think and feel. This genuine interest allows us to connect deeper and identify unity in our both our beings. With this wisdom we can learn to connect in very specific ways that benefit tremendously both parties.

3. We Are More Open To Learning

As we open our minds and heart’s to learning how to navigate life and our relationships in differing ways, we become open to the possibility of doing life differently. This means that we may learn to let go of past behaviours that no longer serve us; habitual temperaments that cause friction and tension between our loved ones may dissipate through the art of being open to learning a new way of being. This is a powerful tool for connection and love making.

4. We Are Able To Be Of Greater Service

Being of service is something innate within each and every one of us. We often lose touch with this sacred and ancient practice because we experience an effect of modern life I call cultural clutter.

We become distanced from our loved ones because we are too preoccupied surviving rather than thriving. Being of service allows us to be connected to our truth, to find prolific love in giving our the best of ourselves to our loved ones. To observe them flourish because of our personal value is a gift to self and to the relationship.

5. We Are More Open To Receiving Love

Receiving love allows us to not shut down and distance ourselves from our beloved. There are times when self-love is challenging. We are not happy with who we are at our core. Embodying a spiritual practice allows us to be present to ourselves, to be kind, compassionate and open to our humanness.

This keeps the floodgates of love open. So we can be earnestly accepting of love. This keeps our partners safe, they are not second-guessing and therefore feel secure in the relationship. The perception of security in a relationship is a key factor to its sustainable growth and evolution.

6. A Strong Spiritual Focus Allows Us to Express Authenticity & Integrity In Being

When we are authentic, in integrity, congruent and in alignment with ourselves we are living life fully and wholly. It is in this space that we continue to be sincerely attractive to our partners.

When we bring this back to feelings of safety, we are telling our partners loudly that what they see is what they get. Instead of being in fear of the unknown, our partners are very much relaxed in the intrinsic knowing that they can communicate from a point of completeness, truth and clarity. This clarity causes far less friction and brings couples together in greater harmony. 

7. We Cultivate Acute Gratitude & Appreciation

When we are open to life and to the endless possibility that life provides we become highly attuned to our environment, what we observe and what we experience. This mindset and approach to life allows us to deeply appreciate what we experience in life, inclusive of the gift of our beloved.

Our senses become highly attuned to noticing what is actually working in life and we can learn to deeply appreciate the fullness of our loved ones. Our partners feel this approach of grace and appreciation in multitudes and it is generally reciprocated. From this open space conflict is minimized, the compounding effect of distance is lessened and deeper truth prevails.

8. To Forgive Is To Evolve

Spiritual practice and connection to self above all else opens our being up to learning that we are human and in this humanness we are growing and learning. This is not to excuse our behaviour, but it is to give it context and animation (life-force/energy). To forgive ourselves for the ‘miss-takes’ we make in life allows us to forgive others. In this forgiveness we become open to new grand perspectives that can add empowered value to our lives and the quality of our connections.

The more we know ourselves of course, the more we know what to tolerate and what to not. The clarity here is that we have a greater capacity to forgive and in this process of forgiveness we bond, we grow, we evolve and we are able to love deeper. The journey of hardship if moved through with deep intention can bond couples for life.

9. Growth Over Perceived Comfort

This is one of the most fascinating ideas behind conscious/spiritual relationships: the primary objective of connected intimacy and partnership is growth, not comfort or the idea of the relationship itself. In other words, intimate relationships are not simply a commodity or a source of affection and support, but also, and mainly, one of the main tools for personal and individual evolution. Working on this together with conscious awareness allows longevity in the relationship to possibly flourish, especially if there is value alignment.

The purpose of the relationship is to grow. Are you adding value to the life of the other, are you growing in the process and does the same apply to them towards you and for themselves? In our partners, we find powerful and profound mirrors. But more than that, we can shift our perspective and evaluate a relationship on the basis of whether it is making us evolve or not. 

10. The ‘Now’ Becomes The Focus

Rather than allowing external pressures and stressors (often future based or past related) to continually affect and ultimately damage our relationship and impeded on the intimacy and connection, we have a greater propensity and capacity to remain present. This choice to remain present is a powerful grounding that allows the couple to connect and face the challenge, issue or tension at hand in the present moment.

This process quickly dissipates the confusion, pain and suffering often associated with fear-based tension that we all experience as part of everyday life. The issue is that it compounds when left unattended. A sound spiritual practice and ethos on life allows us to confront tension with courage in the present and dissipate it before it becomes overwhelming and adds negative pressure to our lives.

In Closing

For clarity on a definition of spirituality (especially in context to relationships), how it can deeper serve us and the power of practice please refer to PART II of this blog series on how Spirituality Can Save Your Relationship.

Our ability to be present to ourselves is what will ultimately both liberate us and connect us in relationship. This presence and ability to perceive the world and love from a vantage point of inclusivity allows us to love openly, connect deeply, be true to our core being and be compassionate in the face of disharmony.

All of this, if left unattended crushes our capacity to love, we immerse in self-loathing, disconnection from self and lose touch with what is important to us. Come back to self, to the reasons why love flourished and in moments of despair – ask yourself: ‘What would love do now’?

One is always glad to be of service.

STEFANOS SIFANDOS

Relational Alchemist, Speaker & Author