Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Our Focus Becomes Our Greatest Super Power

Imagine for a moment that if what you chose to focus on became your absolute reality in that moment? Remain with me for a moment here please. Imagine your thoughts were able to master your body’s faculties – the manner in which you physiologically responded to life – they can.

We become angry, frustrated, in pain, we feel the depths of sorrow. Emotionally we are perturbed and disturbed by this. We begin to shut down, become neurally tensile, feel disconnected and hyper-focus on this extension of ourselves that is suffering.

Whilst there is value in this (to learn from, grow and transmute what does not serve through context, reference and attention), to remain here for too long is not healthy. To have stress hormones circulating our bodies perpetually and constantly is not healthy for our own vitality and mental state. There is another way.

We have the capacity to be more connected to our thoughts, emotions and mindset than we may know. If we feel completely disconnected, we have an opportunity to go into it in a more objective and neutral way. Yes, there are times when the trauma or the fear is a little too much, here we may need a more supportive and calculated approach.

Now, in these highly strung or tensile moments we can just breathe to regain mastery of our physiology. Our bodies and minds work as one, it is just that we are generally quite disconnected from the intimacy of this connection and wholeness that exists within us.

When we breathe purposefully and deliberately we engage fully our entire being. When we take our minds to a place that is more connected and an internal place where we actually focus on what is working in life or something that inspires us profoundly we literally shift that deep discomfort we feel in our bodies.

When our bodies are then relaxed, without such tension, we not only think in a more creative and expansive manner – we are able to create harmony in our thought patterns, balance in our expressions and clarity in our movement. Our relationships function from a place of openness and transparency as opposed to restriction, underlying shadow elements and pain.

We project less, literally are freer in our bodies and are able to express with authenticity and prowess. We are present to the pain, yet not controlled, nor paralysed by it. This is a power we can all tap in to. We must understand this intimate connection between mind and body – body and mind. It truly is one in the same.

The fastest way to change our state is to change our physical environment. However, this can also apply to our internal state of thought processes and cognitive focuses. Our focus can literally influence our emotional states of being. Perhaps choosing articulately what you choose to listen to within the chasms of your mind is the most freeing act you can engage in…

One is always glad to be of service.

 

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
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Rejection – A Different Perspective

Rejection is painful, it stops us in our tracks, paralyses us and pulls us into a vortex of lower self-worth. Rejection keeps us playing small in life, forgetting who we truly are, what we are capable of and what matters.

The Place Beyond Knowing

There is a place – a space that occupies the sub structures of our minds that resides beyond the conscious self.

This place is what we do not know, what we are not aware of and what is not familiar.

It is here in this place where there is so much that we know, yet are unaware of. Here, there is a story being constructed that we are architecting, it has no idea.

Better OUT than IN

My beautiful grandmother would tell me to never hold farts in. In Italian, she would say often “Always out, never in.” I remember this distinctly, and then she would burp and I would laugh hysterically. She was the best! I then would run around farting and get excited to go to the toilet haha! I now often think about the real life implications of ‘out’.

The Harsh Inner Critic

Lately, I have found myself comparing myself to others (particularly men in my space) that I perceive to hold the attributes I don’t yet have within myself. This has placed me in a little bit of a tailspin. There are times where I will be empowered and inspired and do more and concentrate on the authenticity of my expression and…

There are times where I revert and get stuck, feel the victim that I put so much effort in and “where am I still, what does he have that I don’t?” I criticize, become frustrated, agitated, short with others, despondent and not motivated to create. I feel jealousy and unworthy in this comparison mode.

Our Need For Approval

Your need for approval stems from your fear of rejection. Unconsciously seeking the need to be liked or loved by another and experiencing that approval means that you are not in a state of unworthiness, humiliation, “less than” or abandonment and this feels safer than the constant pursuit of someone else’s opinion defining you.

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